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,-: 



YOUTHFUL PILGRIMS: 



OR, 



I 



MEMORIALS OF YOUNG PERSONS 



OP THE 



SOCIETY OF FRIENDS. 



" And he led them forth by the right way, that they might 

GO TO A CITY OF HABITATION." — PS. Cvii. 7. 



PHILADELPHIA: 

PUBLISHED BY THE 

ASSOCIATION OF FRIENDS FOR THE DIFFUSION OF RELIGIOUS 
AND USEFUL KNOWLEDGE. 

1858. 



•o 



(rill 



NOTE 



These memorials of young persons have been 
selected from the volume entitled "Youthful 
Pilgrims, " published in York and London in 
1854. The Preface is a reprint of the one in 
the English edition, with the omission of a 
small part which referred to those portions of 
the volume not included in this selection. 



(2) 






PREFACE 



In offering this little collection of memorials to the 
notice of young persons, particularly those connected 
with the Society of Friends, a few introductory words 
may be permitted us. 

From age to age there has already appeared a con- 
tinually augmenting cloud of witnesses to the power 
of true religion, and there might seem to be no need 
of any additional evidence to its reality and value; 
yet a few fresh instances of its efficacy to support the 
mind in life, and at the approach of death, taken 
from the ranks of our dear young people within the 
last few years, may not perhaps be examined without 
profit. They attest, as we apprehend, the soundness 
of our christian profession, its identity with that of 
a former period of our history, and its oneness with 
the glorious gospel of Christ. They exhibit the 
practical application of the principles of Christianity 
to the life and conduct of the believer, show us the 
supports which are underneath him in the hour of 

(iii) 



IV PREFACE. 

sickness and trial, and afford a glimpse of the blessed- 
ness of those who " die in the Lord." 

May the example of these, who, " through faith 
and patience," exercised for a little season, "have 
inherited the promises," be a fresh encouragement to 
our youthful readers to pursue that path of self- 
denial, and of service to God and our fellow men, in 
which he who follows his Lord with single-hearted 
dedication, being " not conformed to this world, but 
transformed by the renewing of the mind," finds it 
his privilege to walk. May they be kept amid the 
temptations and trials which mark the present period, 
firm to their principles, true in their allegiance, and 
not wanting the courage in humility to confess their 
Lord before men. Confiding in his directing care 
may they not attempt to limit the Holy One in any 
: r of his ways of working, but be engaged individually 
to seek to know his will, and in such manner as He 
is pleased to require, to "put incense" before Him 
and the whole burnt sacrifice upon His altar," re- 
collecting that it is those who confess their Lord 
before men whom He will acknowledge in the great 
day of account. 

Several of the memoirs have appeared before in the 
Annual Monitor, but in most instances additional 
matter has been kindly furnished by the friends of 
the deceased ; and some of them have been entirely 



PREFACE. V 

re-written. A few of the accounts have not been 
before published. 

Our heavenly Father deals variously with his 
children, according to his different purposes respect- 
ing them. He who gathered these in his arms and 
carried them in his bosom to their heavenly rest, is 
in unutterable love seeking to bring into his one fold, 
all who hear his voice. And if he do not thus early 
remove them from trial and service, he will incline 
their hearts to follow him, enable them to go in and 
out before him as examples to his flock below, and 
finally in his own good time, take them to his fold 
above, to go out no more for ever. May these look 
up to Him in frequent and fervent prayer, and 
cherish those influences of His spirit which show 
them their fallen nature, the necessity of holiness, 
and the all-sufficiency of that redemption which is in 
Christ Jesus, the only Saviour. 

May this little volume be the means under the 

divine blessing of bringing home to its readers the 

great uncertainty of life and the vast importance of 

being prepared for the life to come. May it remind 

them that at such an hour as they think not, they 

may be called upon to render an account of their 

stewardship of the various talents entrusted to them. 

We would entreat them not to be found amongst 

those who may have to regret that they did not 
1* 



yi PREFACE. 

earlier dedicate their hearts to the Lord, and come into 
the enjoyment of the blessings offered in the gospel. 

The soul that is at peace with God, reconciled to 
Him through Jesus Christ, has its best affections in 
the most lively exercise, finds its pleasure in the per- 
formance of the various duties of life, has a large 
capacity for the enjoyment of all the blessings which 
a bountiful Creator has spread around, and can adopt 
the language " Blessed be God that daily loadeth us 
with benefits, even the God of our salvation." 
Whilst by faith such are often permitted to see that 
the cup of earthly gratification, even though it were 
filled to the brim, is as nothing when compared with 
that fulness of joy which is in the presence of God, 
and those pleasures which are at his right hand for 
evermore. 

The call may sometimes in great mercy be renewed 
even at the eleventh hour, but there is a peculiar 
sweetness and freshness in the early visitations of 
Divine love when the voice is first heard, " My son 
give me thy heart." Beloved young friends, whilst 
the call is heard, let your filial response be in the 
spirit of a christian writer, " Give me thy heart, 
Lord, didst thou say ? It is Thine by debt, by a 
long and incalculable debt of gratitude which I owe 
thee, and dost thou call it a gift to thee ? Lord, draw 
it to thyself, and keep it with thee for ever !" 



MAEY OVENS PALMER, 



OF 



LONG SUTTON, COUNTY OP SOMERSET 



Mary Oyens Palmer, daughter of William and 
Mary Palmer, was born at Long Sutton, in the 
county of Somerset, on the 17th of 5th month, 1822. 
She was of a lively and very affectionate disposition, 
disposed to look on the bright side of things, and 
possessing great firmness of purpose. 

In very early life, her mind was graciously visited 
by the tendering influences of divine love, and her 
spirit was in measure made willing to give up all for 
Christ's sake. But the temptations of the enemy, 
and the allurements of the world, often prevailed in 
turning her aside from the path of simple devoted- 
ness to her Saviour ; and she had afterwards deeply 
to regret the loss she had sustained in not yielding 
more full obedience to the heavenly call. It appears, 
however, from memoranda, left behind her, written 
at different periods of her life, that she was often 
earnestly engaged to maintain the struggle against 
the evil of her own heart, and by the help of the 

(7) 



8 MARY OVENS PALMER. 

Holy Spirit to give herself more entirely to the ser- 
vice of her Lord. 

The following rules, which she laid down for her 
conduct, when about seventeen years of age, were 
found in her Bible after her decease : — 

1. To endeavour to rise early when health per- 
mits, and always to spend a portion of time in read- 
ing and prayer. 

2. To endeavour to encourage a spirit of love and 
forbearance, and to avoid indulging in vain conversa- 
tion, and to make the most of my time. 

3. To avoid slander, and particularly giving 
opinions on ministering friends and others who are 
in office, as it is contrary to the spirit of the injunc- 
tion, " render to all their dues." 

4. Be kind to the poor when there is an oppor- 
tunity, and speak for the cause of truth, and be 
careful that my own conduct may not be a cause of 
stumbling to any. 

5. Avoid light reading, as it is a waste of time, 
and an injury to the mind. 

6. To endeavour to maintain a spirit of prayer 
and watchfulness, that the monitor within me may 
be heard and complied with. 

7. At the end of each day to be careful in self- 
examination, and to maintain a humble sense of my 
own weakness, for of myself I can do nothing ; and 
every good thing must come from Him, who alone is 
the author of good. 

8. And finally to be frequent in prayer, fervent 
in love, remembering that we have a cross to bear, a 



MARY OVENS PALMER. 9 

work to do, and that the Bridegroom will soon come, 
when the Book of Life will be opened, and all good 
and evil will be brought to light. 

Lord Jesus, I cannot perform one of these rules of 
myself : be thou, I beseech thee, my helper and my 
strength. Amen. 

The following extracts from her memoranda show 
her watchfulness over herself, and her honest en- 
deavour to comply with the rules which she had thus 
laid down for the regulation of her conduct : — 

u Rose early this morning and spent a portion of 
time in reading and prayer, and throughout the day 
endeavoured to avoid vain conversation and | waste of 
time. 

" I hope I have tried to encourage a spirit of love 
and forbearance. 

"Have spoken against a person when I might 
have held my peace. 

"Neglected to speak against the wickedness of 
lying when there was an opportunity. 

" Have avoided light reading;. 

"Have not been particular enough in trying to 
maintain a spirit of watchfulness and prayer. 

"Have retired this evening for the purpose of 
self-examination, and have endeavoured to feel my 
own weakness, and whole dependence on Jesus for 
every serious desire. 

"This day has passed very unsatisfactorily; my 
heart has been estranged from God to the world and 
sin." 

5th mo. 16th, 1841, she writes : " This day my 



10 MARY OVENS PALMER. 

beloved cousin is carried to the silent tomb ; she left 
us for an eternal abode on the 11th, fully prepared to 
enter into those joys which surround the throne of 
the Lamb. my God ! while we mourn for her loss, 
grant that we may not murmur at thy decree ; rather 
enable us to praise Thee, that in thy judgments thou 
hast remembered mercy; I have often said before 
Thee, That I would serve Thee unreservedly, but my 
resolutions are like the morning dew. In Thy strength 

Lord, enable me to resolve again to be thine; 
accept my heart, now I am young, and be thou my 
guide, that when my awful summons may arrive, I 
too may be found with my lamp trimmed. Lord, am 

1 sincere ? if I am not, make me so ! Let me not 
deceive myself." 

In writing respecting her beloved daughter, her 
mother tells us that she was exemplary in not 
speaking to the disadvantage of the absent, and 
careful not to give offence to any one ; if she thought 
she had spoken too quickly, she would soon correct 
herself, and often with tears ask to be forgiven. 

She took much interest in visiting the poor at 
their own homes, endeavouring to alleviate their 
sorrows, by administering to their outward neces- 
sities, and by reading to them from the Bible and 
other religious books. 

In the early part of the year 1844, she was at- 
tacked with inflammatory rheumatism : from that 
time her general health declined, and the medical 
men gave it as their opinion, that the lungs were ex- 
tensively diseased. 



MARY OVENS PALMER. 11 

With a view to the benefit of her health, she left 
home in the Fourth month, 1843, on a visit to her 
relations in Somersetshire. Whilst on this visit, she 
passed through much mental conflict. To one of 
these seasons she particularly referred after her 
return, when conversing with two of her brothers, 
telling them, that while she was sitting alone in her 
bed-room, under the full conviction that her time 
here would not be long, she was quite overcome with 
a sense of her unfitness to die, and felt as it were, 
shut out from the mercies of her Redeemer : she 
thought it was impossible to sustain the conflict any 
longer, and was ready, in despair, to give up all hope 
of being saved. But He who had convinced her of 
sin and transgression, knew what she was able to 
bear, and, at this point, mercifully supported her. 
On the next day, her relations, with whom she was 
staying, received a religious visit from two friends 
travelling in the ministry. One of these friends was 
led to address her, very strikingly, on the state of 
mind she was then in, and encouraged her to trust 
in Him whose mercies fail not. 

Although her health had varied during her 
absence from home, it was evident that the disease 
was making progress. She returned to Reading on 
the 9th of the 8th month, considerably reduced in 
strength : after this, she got out to meetings a few 
times, but had soon to yield to rapidly increasing 
weakness. 

About a week before her decease, a friend who 
called to see her, was introduced into much sympathy 



12 MARY OVENS PALMER. 

with her ) and believed it right to mention to her the 
sense she had of her condition. The dear invalid, 
after a pause, and in much tenderness, expressed, as 
near as the words could be remembered, as follows : 
— " Thou seemest to have such a clear sense of my 
state, that I want much to tell thee how it has been 
with me. My mind was very early visited \ and when 
at school, I was sensible of the goodness of the Lord \ 
but like too many others, I wandered away from him, 
and scarcely thought that many little things I then 
felt about, could be noticed by such a great and 
gracious Creator : thus the world and the things of 
it, drew my heart from dedication to. him : still his 
goodness and mercy followed me year after year; 
again and again I was humbled, and desired that I 
might love and serve him. I think that I believed 
in Christ, and that I could only be saved by him ; 
but I was continually wandering from the teachings 
of his Spirit, and therefore I made no progress." 

After a pause, she added : — " For nearly two 
years past, I may say, the bent and intent of my mind 
has been to endeavour to love and serve the Lord ; 
but I have not kept close enough to the leadings of 
his Spirit, and therefore have never attained unto 
that which he designed for me. Since my illness, I 
have felt these things deeply ; and during the time 
of my absence from home, I was often brought very 
low and much discouraged. I almost despaired of 
finding mercy, my sins and transgressions had been 
so many ; but the Lord dealt very graciously with 
me ; and he has been very merciful, and, I trust, 



MART OVENS PALMER. 13 

sanctified my heart by his Spirit : and as I lay this 
morning, it did seem as though all my sins were for- 
given, and my transgressions cast into the depths of 
the love of God in Christ Jesus ; and I believe this 
illness is designed to be a blessing to others, as well 
as to myself; but it is all of the Lord's mercy." She 
then adverted to many young people of her acquaint- 
ance, and said : — " There are some of them who 
have been often visited, and their minds tendered ; 
but like myself, they have wandered from the Spirit 
of Truth, and not made progress ; and I hope that 
they may be instructed by my experience \ for nothing 
will do but an entire surrender of heart." 

About this time, speaking to her mother of some 
near relations, she said : — "If I should not have an 
opportunity, tell them to i seek first the kingdom of 
God/ and they will have enough of this world's 
goods ) and oh, what are all the riches in this world 
without religion ? " 

She expressed much concern for some of her 
young friends, and sent messages of love, &c, 
desiring that they might be faithful to the pointings 
of truth in their own minds. She wished to see two 
or three of them, and requested that they might come 
separately ) to these she gave suitable advice ; to one 
of them she expressed the advantage he would derive 
Try setting apart a portion of each day to read the 
Scriptures, and for silent retirement. 

The last First-day before her death, all her bro- 
thers being at home, she desired that the family 
might meet in her bed-room during the morning, 
2 



14 MARY OVENS PALMER. 

when, after a time of silence, she expressed the 
necessity there was for those around her, to give up 
their whole hearts to serve their Creator in the days 
of their youth. " No half measures will do; it must 
be the whole heart." She continued : — "I once 
thought, dress and address were of little importance, 
but I do not think so now : until I was made willing 
to give up all, I could make no progress heavenward. 
I want you all to come to me in heaven — you will 
endeavour to come to me, won't you?" She also 
expressed a desire, that should her beloved relations 
attain to some religious experience, they would not 
forget " the little ones," saying, " It is those that 
want encouragement." 

She then, after a pause, requested to have the 
thirtieth chapter of Isaiah read, and on coming to 
the twenty-first verse, " And thine ear shall hear a 
word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye 
in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye 
turn to the left," she said, with great earnestness, 
" There, that is what I want you to attend to," 

She expressed her affectionate interest for her 
mother, in the prospect of her being left without a 
daughter, and commended her to the tender care of 
her brothers, adding, " She has been a kind mother 
to all of us." To a young friend, an inmate in the 
family, she said, " Be kind to mother when I am 
gone, she will want attention." And at another 
time she addressed her beloved parent to this effect, 
" I thought I should have been a comfort to thee in 



MARY OVENS PALMER. 15 

thy old age, but as the Almighty has been a husband 
to thee, so he will supply the place of a daughter." 

Her weakness increasing, she passed much of her 
time in dozing, but remarked, " When I awake, 
comfortable passages of Scripture press on my mind." 
At another time she said, "Had it not been for the 
Scripture promises, I must have given up the struggle 
long ago, but I cannot doubt the truth of them. I 
cannot doubt that I shall be saved at last, but it will 
be through mercy, all mercy." On a cousin taking 
an affectionate leave of her, she said earnestly " pray 
for me ; I cannot think," alluding to the difficulty of 
fixing her thoughts, from extreme weakness. 

To the same relative she expressed, at another 
time, how happy and comfortable she was, " having 
felt her Saviour very near to her all the day." 

For two or three days before her decease, she was 
unable to converse much with those around her; but 
at times the sweet serenity of her countenance 
indicated that all was peace within; and the last 
words she was heard distinctly to utter, were, "Jesus 
is very precious to me." Thus her spirit passed 
away, we reverently trust, to one of those mansions 
in the Redeemer's kingdom, which he has, in 
adorable mercy and love, prepared for those whose 
sins have gone beforehand to judgment, and whose 
robes have been washed, and made white in his 
blood. 



ANN ECKOYD, 



OF 



LOMESHAYE, COUNTY OF LANCASTER. 



Ann Ecroyd, the daughter of William Ecroyd, 
of Lomeshaye, in the county of Lancaster, was born 
on the 16th of 7th mo. 1822. 

From infancy, her constitution was delicate, and 
when nearly thirteen years of age, she had a severe 
attack of typhus fever, which for several weeks 
rendered her life very uncertain. In a few months, 
however, she was favoured to recover her strength, 
and was well enough to be again placed at school to 
finish her education. Her return home, to form one 
of the family circle, was hailed with much pleasure, 
as she was of an affectionate disposition, and of very 
lively spirits; and her general conduct and de- 
meanour was such as to gain the esteem and love of 
her relatives and friends. 

In reference to this period of her life, she writes, 
u In my younger days, I at times fell into temptation 
bo far as not to speak the truth. One instance I 
well remember, which has since given me much pain 

(16) 



ANN ECROYD. 17 

and sorrow of heart, but which, through the mercy 
of my Saviour, who is ever ready to forgive, will, I 
humbly trust, be blotted out. Whilst I was at 
school, I do not know that I ever told a direct un- 
truth ) but I was very much given to an impertinent 
manner of answering my teachers, and to doing 
things which I knew to be contrary to what they 
told me to be right ; and in this way I gave myself 
up to the evil one." 

Soon after she left school, the decease of a dear 
cousin, near her own age, was a close trial to her; 
she thus notices this event, " 2nd mo. 1840. — 
After the death of my dear cousin, I felt very low. 
The thought of one so young, like myself, being 
called away from earth, and that I might be the 
next, flashed across my mind ; but things did not 
then take that root that was needful to bring me to a 
sense of my poor lost state. Oh that it had wrought 
upon me that which I fully believe was designed; 
viz., to bring me to see the need of preparation, even 
in youth, for an eternal state." 

Her feelings, at the period when her health began 
to decline, are thus recorded by herself: " In the 
spring of 1841, it pleased Divine goodness, who alone 
knoweth best what is good for the children of men, 
to afflict me with a cough, which, not abating 
towards the end of the year, it was thought best to 

consult Dr. of Leeds, whither I accordingly 

went. He told me that he could not flatter me ; he 
thought there was decidedly disease of the right 
lung, but that with great care, it might for the 
2* 



18 ANN ECROYD. 

present be retarded. My feelings at that time were 
not very poignant; I was induced to hope the com- 
plaint was not so bad but that it might be removed ; 
still the thought of eternity would often flash across 
my mind. My dear friends were, I dare say, more 
anxious than I • not that I felt peace of mind to be 
my portion, but my hopes were in the doctor's skill : 
truly I was trusting in nothing but a fleshly arm. 

In order to be more immediately under Dr. 

■ 's care, I remained three months at the house 

of my beloved uncle, J T , who has 

since joined the glorious company in heaven. He 
was one for whom my dear father retained a strong 
affection, having spent a large portion of his youth 
under his care, and these thoughts strengthened my 
love. He was truly a gentle, humble, and at the 
same time a firm friend, and worthy of great respect. 
I remember he used often to mix good counsel with 
cheerful conversation, and his remarks were very in- 
structive to me." 

In the spring of 1843, an attack of -inflammation 
of the lungs increased the anxiety of her friends, and 
she was much concerned herself; " But/' she writes, 
" my heart remained hardened like Pharaoh's, and 
after the attack subsided, I settled down again as 
before, not remembering my former mercies. Oh ! 
were it not that the Lord is a long-suffering God, 
how could I hope, after all his former visitations, 
that He would forgive J" In reference to a journey, 
undertaken in the summer of 1843, for the promotion 
of her health, she records, "I returned home re- 



ANN ECROYD. 19 

cruited in body, but not at peace in mind; still 
loDging for the time when I could live more entirely 
to the Lord." 

Whilst watching with anxious interest and soli- 
citude the alternations in their beloved invalid's 
state of health, her friends were thankful in be- 
lieving that these trials were blessed to her, that her 
religious impressions were gradually deepening, and 
that her affections were more intently fixed on those 
things that pertain to salvation and to eternal life. 
Her religious experience is in some degree exhibited 
in the following extracts from her memoranda : — 

"1st mo. 1844. — Had a visit from my dear 

friend , who had scarcely recovered from the 

rheumatic fever, but he came to dine here that he 
might see me. Oh ! I hope never to forget the 
arousing manner, truly searching, yet persuasive, in 
which he was led to address me ; assuring me, that 
by a humble prostration at the footstool of the Lord, 
and in that alone, we must find mercy; and that my 
affliction would thus be sanctified to me. The Lord 
was not a hard master, if we would only give up : 
He does not afflict willingly, but only chastises that 
He may show His love to us, &c. 

"6th mo. 1844. — Though at first I might treat 

's close remarks with a high spirit, yet He 

who visiteth the children of men by his power, and 
is able to soften their hearts and bring them into 
subjection to his will, has from that time caused me 
to desire sincerely, I trust, to be able to look unto 
Him in faith, and that He would show me what He 



20 ANN ECROYD. 

required. About this time, on attending meeting, 
a friend stood up with these words — ( Thy whole 
heart, my son, my daughter/ adding that the Lord 
required the tohole heart. Well ! I thought, that is 
what I wished to know ; and I felt almost to tremble. 
Thus was the Lord's mercy again and again extended. 
The following winter I was mostly confined upstairs ; 
my mind still in an unfixed condition, as it were 
striving betwixt hope and fear. I longed to be able 
to say in sincerity the Lord's prayer, and to call the 
God of jVcob my Father. 

" 4th mo. 12th, 1845. — In about a fortnight after 
coming to Leeds, I was taken poorly. Though I 
might appear cheerful, my mind was much distressed 
at times. On one occasion, when attending meeting 
hearing this message, i To-day if ye will hear my 
voice, harden not your hearts, &c/ delivered as it 
were to myself, by the same minister from whom I 
had heard it before, I almost wished (though how 
wicked it was, and I am ready to shudder when I 
think of it) he would not always repeat that call, and 
that I had not heard him. Thus, when the mind is 
under sin, how does it dislike to be told of its danger ; 
yet still, though very unworthy of such a proof of 
Divine mercy, I was favoured before the meeting 
broke up, to lay hold of a little hope and encourage- 
ment from this passage, quoted by another dear 
friend, i When thou saidst, seek ye my face ; my 
heart said unto thee, thy face, Lord ! will I seek/ I 
cannot help thinking these words were intended to 
be a warning and an encouragement to me, as I do 



ANN ECROYD. 21 

not in general retain passages in my remembrance, 
and yet these often recur to me. When thinking 
of leaving Leeds, inflammatory action, about the 
region of the heart, appeared, and oh ! what I felt in 
my mind at these times when left alone ! How did 
I crave of my heavenly Father, that He would look 
with mercy upon me, and forgive me my sins ! 
And this query — c What shall I do to be saved V 
would at times arise, when my heart was over- 
flowing and the tears streaming, though the cause 
was only known to the Lord and to myself." 

During this illness, she on one occasion observed 
to a beloved relative, that she thought she should 
not get better; and added, "If I don't, what will 
become of me? Oh! what must I do ? What 
must I do?" She was recommended to look unto 
Him who had given her to see her unfitness to stand 
in His presence; with whom there is forgiveness, 
and plenteous redemption. " But," continued she, 
in deep mental distress, " do pray for me." Her 
attention was directed to the Lamb of God, that 
taketh away the sin of the world; and she was en- 
couraged to look unto him who had so mercifully 
followed her, believing that He who had begun a 
good work in her heart would carry it on to perfec- 
tion; as it is promised, "A bruised reed shall He 
not break, and the smoking flax shall He not quench : 
He shall bring forth judgment unto truth." After 
a pause, with a countenance strikingly expressive of 
gratitude and love, dear Ann exclaimed, "He will 
bring forth judgment unto truth, I can believe, and 



22 ANN ECROYD. 

finish the work begun. Because of his mercy he 
saveth us, and his mercy endureth for ever." 

In the 8th mo. 1845, during a severe dropsical 
affection, which greatly increased the apprehensions 
of her friends, as well as her own, she did not ex- 
perience that sense of acceptance which her soul 
longed for, as is evinced by the following remark : 
"When in the 8th month, I was so ill that I 
scarcely knew whether a week longer might be my 
portion here, oh ! how was I pained to think that 
I might have to part from those loved ones on earth, 
perhaps for ever; but that would have been nothing ? 
could I have seen one ray of hope for myself, to join 
them in an enduring and better country. But the 
God of compassion, whose mercy fails not, knew my 
heart, and in his adorable goodness, was pleased once 
more to restore me." 

" 11th mo. 8th. — I have often desired of the Lord 
in former days, as well as at the present time, that 
He would be pleased to show me in what way I could 
best serve him ; seeing that I was not permitted to do 
exactly as others, in assembling with my friends for 
the performance of public worship, &c. &c, though I 
have felt him to be near when sitting alone ; and I 
believe it is shown me that I must endeavour to be an 
example of meekness, and patiently bear any thing 
that may not exactly accord with my own feelings, 
even though these should be right, believing that in 
so doing I shall please my heavenly Father. 

"9th. — The saying has been brought to my re- 
membrance, " Out of the mouths of babes and suck- 



ANN ECROYD. 23 

lings thou hast perfected praise ; " and truly I have 
at times been so sensible of the great love and mercy 
of the Lord, that I could not sufficiently set forth his 
praise ; and may I not at this time acknowledge that 
my prayers for faith and love have been answered, 
though it may have been through suffering? The 
cruel enemy is ever ready to lay hold of us in an un- 
guarded moment ; but thou, oh Lord ! knowest my 
desire ; and glory be to thy excellent name ! thou 
hast not suffered him altogether to prevail ! 

" 10th. — Felt sorrowful at times to-day. My 
former sins and iniquities have often been brought 
before me, causing me much sorrow. I have craved 
forgiveness, for my Saviour's sake, and hope and pray 
that each fault may be brought to light, that there 
may not be anything unrepented of, at the awful day 
of account. And I do sincerely desire to be kept 
in thy fear, Lord ! for as the Psalmist says, "the 
fear of the Lord is clean, enduring for ever." 

"llth.^ — More peaceful to-day, especially after 
reading; this morning;, when the encouraging; lang;uag;e 
of Paul to the Colossians particularly struck me, 
where he says, " You that were some time alienated, 
and enemies in your mind by wicked works, yet now 
hath he reconciled, in the body of his flesh through 
death, &c." And may not I also through mercy be 
permitted to count myself one of those who lay hold 
on the Saviour as their Redeemer and Sanctifier? 
Yes, truly, and I do desire to " continue in the faith 
grounded and settled, that true and living faith, 
which worketh by love ; it will be well for me fre- i 



24 ANN ECROYD. 

quently to ask the question, Dost thou love the Lord 
in sincerity, or not ? and does thy daily walk prove to 
others, as well as to thyself, whom thou art desirous 
to serve V 

Although appearing to those around her to be pre- 
served in much patience, the struggle with her own 
heart and the tenderness of her conscience, are in- 
dicated by the following entries : — 

" 12th. — Felt this morning quiet and peaceful; 
but in the afternoon, to my shame, gave way to a 
little of that spirit which requires to be subdued, for 
which I have felt, and do feel, much sorrow. I have 
prayed to my heavenly Father that, for the sake of 
my Saviour, he would be pleased to forgive me, and 
also be graciously pleased to help me to overcome my 
failings; for " except the Lord keep the city, the 
watchman waketh but in vain." And whilst I am 
thankful for having been given to feel my own sins 
to be grievous, I have desired that the Lord would 
make known his love and mercy to all Our beloved 
family, that they may taste and see his loving-kind- 
ness, love Him in sincerity, and be made willing to 
bear his yoke, which will be felt to be indeed easy, 
and light; far more so than I could have imagined; 
and my greatest regret is that I did not bear it 
sooner. 

" 13th. — I enjoyed a comfortable day; far more 
than I deserved, after my unwatchfulness yesterday. 
Truly, the Lord does not reward according to our 
deserts, or I should have felt very low and poor; 
instead of which I was favoured, I thought, to feel 



ANN ECROYD. 25 

his power to arise in my heart during a little time 
spent in silent waiting before him. I desire patiently 
to wait for his Spirit to influence my heart, that my 
will may in everything be brought into subjection to 
his Divine Will. 

u 16th. — Most of this day, solid peace atttended 
me. During the time I sat in silence, when our 
family were at meeting, I was enabled to make cove- 
nant with my God. Knowing that we can do 
nothing of ourselves, I desire to-wait in humble hope, 
firmly believing that in his own time, which is the 
best, he will strengthen me. I find the enemy ready 
at all times to draw me by his cunning crafty devices 
into sinful thoughts. Oh ! my God, be pleased for 
thy dear Son's sake to enable me to discern between 
the voice of the Beloved and that of the stranger : 
thou knowest I desire nothing short of true and vital 
religion ; for what will anything else avail in the hour 
of dissolution? truly nothing! My trust is in the 
unmerited mercy of my God, through the mediation 
of my Saviour, whom I feel as if I could not suf- 
ficiently love and adore. 

a 19th. — Felt very low and discouraged, part of 
to-day 5 but on reading a Psalm, I was revived, and 
also encouraged on hearing part of Luther's Life 
read ; wherein he displayed such love and confidence 
in his God in the hours of his greatest extremity, I 
felt ashamed of myself for having so soon given way 
to despair. I have prayed unto the Lord that he 
would be pleased to increase my faith. 

"23rd. — Whilst sitting in silence to-day, desires 



26 ANN ECROYD. 

arose that I might be enabled to worship acceptably, 
in spirit and in truth. I believe that the worship 
which is approved by my heavenly Father is, to love, 
honour, and adore him ; to acknowledge Christ in all 
things, as Head over all, and to obey his requirings ; 
that He may have, our whole heart, for He is a 
jealous God, and will not have the honour, which is 
alone his due, given to another. 

" 29th. — What a mercy it is to have a High 
Priest holy, harmless, and undefiled ; one who never 
sinned Himself, and yet is touched with a feeling of 
our infirmities, and knowing that He who was pure, 
suffered for our sins, should we not the more cheer- 
fully suffer wrong from our fellow-mortals, and seek 
to follow in all things our Holy Pattern, even Jesus 
Christ our Saviour ? 

Ann Ecroyd was long an invalid, and passed 
through much bodily and mental suffering, yet she 
was remarkably cheerful and lively, and showed 
great energy of mind and consideration for others, in 
the useful employment of her time and attention. 

" 12th mo. 20th. — Eeferring to an occasion on 
which she thought she had been unguarded in social 
intercourse, after expressing her desire to be pre- 
served from grieving the Holy Spirit, she adds, 
u Oh! my soul, strive after more watchfulness and 
soberness in future ; at the same time, I should be 
very sorry to cast anything like gloom over those 
around me ; for I consider a life of religion, — of 
doing the will of our heavenly Father, is not a gloomy 
life ; far from it : it gives ease and true peace to the 



ANN ECROYD. 27 

mind, and consequently life and light to the spirits. 
But there are seasons when the weightiest considera- 
tions ought more particularly to impress us. And 
now I earnestly crave of my heavenly Father, for his 
dear Son's sake, to help me to keep my mind more 
under restraint, that I may be preserved from in- 
juring the good cause in any way. 

" 24th. — Meeting-day. It was brought before 
my mind how Esau was tempted for a morsel of 
pottage to sell his birthright; and how we in like 
manner might be tempted to part with our soul's 
peace for the love of the world, and the things of it. 
I fear I did not feel sufficiently humbled with this 
thought, as I had afterwards, during the day, sorrow- 
fully to lament, having in some degree yielded to im- 
patience of spirit mixed with pride and selfishness. 

" 28th. — After endeavouring silently to wait upon 
the Lord, I was enabled to pour out my soul in 
prayer before Him, that he would be pleased to 
strengthen me for the day's work, whatever it might 
be. Afterwards, on reading the prayer of Daniel for 
the restoration of Jerusalem, this part of it par- 
ticularly struck me, " We do not present our sup- 
plications before thee for our righteousness, but for 
thy great mercies." Truly we have no righteousness 
to call our own ; we are unprofitable servants, even 
when we may have done our duty. 

u 31st. — During the past year I have been twice 
brought to the brink of the grave, with a soul little 
fit to be called to its account; still has the Lord, in 
his unbounded mercy, been pleased to restore me> 



28 ANN ECROYD. 

Oh I righteous Father ! I earnestly entreat of thee a 
continuance of thy favours; that if thou in thy 
wisdom shouldst see best to lengthen out my days on 
earth, they may be devoted to serving thee with my 
whole heart, in whatever way thou mayest see fit. 
But if it be thy will to call me from time, may I be 
fully prepared for the change ! and resigned to part 
with all dear ones here, in the joyful hope that in 
thy great mercy, and for thy beloved Son, my 
Saviour's sake, we may be reunited in the realms of 
peace and love. Be pleased, oh gracious Father ! to 
increase daily my desires after a further and deeper 
knowledge of thy blessed truth, and may I with a 
sincere heart, ascribe unto Thee and the Son of thy 
love, all honour, glory, thanksgiving and praise, now 
and for evermore. Amen. 

" 1st mo. 1st, 1846.. — Desires arose to the Lord, 
that He would be pleased to enable me to spend the 
coming year should it be granted me, in closer and 
nearer fellowship with Him, my Bedeemer and 
Sanctifier; and that He would increase my faith and 
patience, and grant me more of his Holy Spirit; so 
that I may feel a deepening in the life of true re- 
ligion, and consequently an increase of all Christian 
graces. He alone can prepare my heart for such 
blessed results. And may love to mj heavenly 
Father and his Son be the foundation of my desires 
and actions; and thereby a similar feeling will be 
ensured towards my fellow mortals, all the world 
over, and a closer feeling to those of my own family 
and faith. 



ANN ECROYD. 29 

" 18th. — Have felt more peaceful to-day, and more 
of the love of God shed abroad in my heart. How 
I long to know more of his love, and of his power in 
my heart ; so that with his help, I may walk before 
him as is well-pleasing in his sight; that I may know 
fear to be put aside, and love to reign instead; then 
shall I be able to look forward to the end of time 
with joy, and true peace will attend me. Enable 
me, oh my gracious Father ! for thy Son's sake, and 
thy mercy's sake, to attain to this true peace with 
thee. Clothe me with the mantle of my Saviour's 
righteousness, and then I shall be safe ! Grant me 
faith and patience to the end, whether it be sooner or 
later, and prepare me for it. Grant me, Lord ! 
resignation to thy holy will, whatever it may be; and 
strengthen me to hold out to the end, whether mine 
be a state of suffering, bodily or mentally, or both. 
It is the not holding out to the end I most fear. 
But why these doubtful fears ? Hath He not said, 
"I will never leave thee nor forsake thee?" 

u 2nd mo. 8th. — These lines express my present 
feelings and desires : — 

"Lamb of God! we fall before Thee, 
Humbly trusting in Thy cross, 
That alone be all our glory, 

All things else are dung and dross; 

Thee we own, a perfect Saviour ; 

Endless source of joy and love : 
Grant us, Lord! thy constant favour, 

Till we reign with thee above." 

" 15th. — Oh ! the love of God ! How do I long 
3* 



30 ANN ECROYD. 

to love him more, and to feel more of his love shed 
abroad in my heart ! — true love. When contem- 
plating what the Lord has done for me, in many, 
many ways of la^e time, I am almost lost in admira- 
tion of his goodness ! Under a feeling of unworthi- 
ness and littleness, this language often arises in my 
heart, "What shall I render unto the Lord for all 
his benefits?" What can I do for one who hath 
done so much for me ? Oh ! my heavenly Father ! 
(for I now feel as if I could truly say, Father) if 
thou shouldst see meet still more to strengthen my 
weakly frame, let me not relax in my endeavour to 
live daily in thy fear, and to seek thy face; that so 
whether my life be longer or shorter, I may at last 
join that happy number, who rejoicing in thy love, 
sing praises — high praises, to thee and to the Lamb. 

" My rambling thoughts are often a great trouble 
to me ; at times I am almost despairing ; they will 
intrude, in spite of any effort of mine. Thy help, 
dearest Saviour, can alone avail, and I do crave it; 
that I may thereby be enabled to overcome ; and that 
there may also be a daily striving after more true 
holiness. 

" 27th. — How very busy is Satan ! Oh ! may I 
be preserved from being overcome ! Merciful Father, 
for thy dear Son's sake, help me; let him not pre- 
vail, but enable me to overcome him. Teach me thy 
will, Lord ! Lead me in a plain path, and what I 
know not, teach thou me ! This evening I have felt, 
I trust, true desires to love the Lord ; and will he not 
enable me to do so ? His promises are said to be 



ANN ECROYD. 31 

sure. Oh! protect and help me; guide me in thy 
truth, for I desire to do thy willy and to be resigned, 
either to life or death. Oh ! that I could feel that 
peace which was formerly my portion; the Lord has 
been pleased to hide his face, as it were, and my 
prayers seem as nothing ; my Bible does not feel to 
yield me that consolation it formerly did, and the 
enemy is doubly busy; yea, I almost fear he will 
overcome : but still through all there is a glimmering 
of hope, that in the Lord's time, I shall find peace. 
Oh ! if I have been endeavouring to climb up into 
thy kingdom, by an easier way than that which thou 
hast appointed, be pleased tQ lead me into the right 
w r ay, and in thine own time grant me true peace; — 
till then faith and patience. 

"3rd mo. 5th. — A beautiful morning! the birds 
are warbling in the branches; I love to hear them 
and think of Him who created all thines, and who 
is, I trust, my Father and their' s also; and although 
I may not now feel as if my heart was able to join in 
so sweet a melody, still may I not hope, that he who 
can change things in the twinkling of an eye, will, 
when it seemeth Him good, enable my now drooping 
spirit to sing praises to his name ? 

" 28th. — I am at times almost doubtful whether I 
am in the right path ; and when I recur to my former 
very peaceful feelings, think whether I was not then 
mistaken. No, surely ! they were of God and from 
Him. And are not these doubts permitted to try my 
faith ? I believe they are. May I remain firm, 
that when these trials are overpast, my faith may be 



32 ANN ECROYD. 

steadier and stronger; Oh that they may be rightly 
endured ! Trust in the Lord, my soul ! at all 
times. This passage from the Psalms often arises in 
my mind, " Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he 
shall sustain thee." 

"4th mo. 5th. — The last few days I have felt the 
love of God shed abroad in my heart; and at times 
a longing to leave this world and all its cares; and 
as if even I might hope through my Saviour's love 
and mercy, to be admitted into heaven itself. 

u 12th. — Frequent are my desires in secret to the 
Lord, that he would be pleased to make his will 
clearly known to me, and strengthen me to perform 
the same to his glory. And this is the language of 
my heart this morning : 

"My life, if thou preservest my life, 
Thy sacrifice shall be, 
And death, if death shall be my doom, 
Shall join my soul to thee. 

" 5th mo. 7th. — This day I was at our Monthly 
Meeting at Crawshaw-booth. I have not attended 
one at a distance for, I should think, two years. I 
felt it a privilege once more to join my friends, and 
I do desire that I may profit by it. How awful if I 
do not strive to do so ! 

"20th. — The last few days my mind has been 
much concerned that I may be enabled to know the 
will of the Lord concerning me; and this morning I 
have prayed that He will be pleased to forgive my 
former ignorance. how I sorrow at times, when 1 



ANN ECROYD. 33 

"bring to remembrance past favours, and think that if 
I had been more thoughtful, and given them that 
place it was my duty to do, I might have been a useful 
member of society ; — but now I seem useless. What 
would I not part with, if I had my strength as 
formerly ! I long to go to meetings as usual, but 
cannot. that I may learn wisdom by my former 
foolishness ; and may the Lord be merciful unto me ! 
Yea He has indeed been merciful in that He has not 
cut me off, but has given me to see the wickedness 
of my former doings. For all these his mercies, may 
I endeavour to bless the hand that has chastened me, 
and patiently to submit to His holy will. 

" 24th. — Have felt poorly the last few days. I 
desire to be patient. Lord ! grant me an increase 
of patience ! Fears have arisen that I do not seek 
sufficiently earnestly unto the Lord, or not rightly. 
How stripped do I feel ! as if at times I could not 
collect my thoughts on serious subjects as I ought. 
I desire to be ever on the watch, to discern when the 
enemy shall lay his snares to tempt or intimidate me. 
how have I desired that my afflictions may be the 
means of drawing me to Christ, that He may do with 
me what seemeth him good ! I am a poor, weak, frail 
creature ; and I feel truly thankful that I have a 
compassionate Creator and Redeemer, who I humbly 
trust is touched with the feeling of my infirmities, 
and into whose hands and good keeping I freely sur- 
render myself. that I may be able to see my sins 
of omission as well as commission blotted out ! Dear- 
est Saviour ! forgive them all." 



34 ANN ECROYD. 

From this time she suffered from inflammatory 
action, and had a good deal of rheumatic pain for 
several days, which confined her mostly to her bed, 
as on many former occasions. There did not appear 
any alarming symptoms until the evening preceding 
the day of her decease : when a high fever came on, 
which in a few hours was succeeded by a most pro- 
fuse perspiration : this exhausted her greatly, and a 
rapid sinking took place. In reply to a query if she 
felt much pain, she observed that she was quite com- 
fortable; adding, "I hope it is not a false rest." 
Shortly after this, a little before one o' clock, she very 
quietly breathed her last. 

How precious is the evidence, that the earnest at- 
tention of this dear young friend to the great busi- 
ness of life was not given in vain. " Her loins were 
girded about, and her lamp burning." " Blessed is 
that servant whom his Lord, when he cometh, shall 
find watching." 



LUCY PEASE, 



OF 



CHAPEL ALLERTON, NEAR LEEDS. 



Lucy Pease, wife of Thomas Pease, of Chapel 
Allerton, near Leeds, was the daughter of Joseph 
and Ann Fryer, of Toothill Grove, near Hudders- 
field. Her father was an esteemed elder of Brig- 
house Monthly Meeting, and there is no doubt that 
under the Divine blessing, parental care and influence 
tended, in no small degree, to the formation of her 
Christian character. 

Of a retiring but cheerful disposition, with an 
engaging sweetness of temper, and possessing a re- 
fined and well cultivated mind, there was enough 
without those outward graces which she also pos- 
sessed, to render her an object of interest and en- 
dearment to those around her. 

In the year 1831, she was placed at Friends' 

School, York, where she remained four years, and 

she there exhibited the same amiable dispositions and 

conscientious conduct, which marked her course at 

home. 

(35) 



36 LUCY PEASE. 

Before giving her heart to God with that decision 
which she afterwards manifested, she seems, in early 
youth, to have been made sensible of the convictions 
and gentle monitions of the Spirit of Truth. She 
struggled for deliverance from those sins which she 
felt to separate her soul from God, and on which, 
though small in the eyes of others, she had, in the 
years of her maturing Christian life, to reflect with 
sorrow and humiliation. 

When about eighteen years of age, she appears to 
have been under strong religious impressions, and an 
illness which she had the following year, was the 
means of introducing her into still deeper baptism 
of spirit. She did not for some weeks recover her 
wonted cheerfulness ; but having been led to implore 
pardon for past transgressions, her faith became 
strengthened in implicit reliance upon her Saviour, 
and she was enabled through the sanctifying opera- 
tions of the Holy Spirit, to dedicate the remainder 
of her days to his service. That her prayers were 
graciously answered, was evinced by her consistent 
walk during her few remaining years. From this 
period she was in the daily habit of spending portions 
of time in private retirement. The following extracts 
from memoranda which appear to have been made at 
these times, are given in the hope of their being in- 
structive to others : 

10th mo. 19th, 1841. — Speaking of visiting the 
poor, and her pleasure in the occupation, she says, 
"Oh there is a joy, and peace, and comfort in visit- 



LUCY PEASE. 37 

ing the cottage of the humble believer, and it is 
deeply instructive too, to compare our many blessings 
with their privations, and see whether for all the gifts 
so bountifully bestowed, we are sufficiently thankful, 
and whether we are endeavouring to serve the Lord 
in proportion to all His benefits." 

21st. — " Among other things which I would aim 
at, I would study to be always cheerful when in 
health, for the Christian who is looking to the Lord 
as his strong consolation, should always endeavour to 
maintain this state, even though he may not always 
be able to succeed, but may feel his spirits oppressed 
when he can give no reason for it. Religion is not a 
gloomy thing, as those who have not experienced its 
blessed influences may think, and as I have thought 
myself: — it is the sense of our sins which makes us 
dull or gloomy, and if we are permitted to believe 
that they are forgiven for Jesus' sake, surely this 
ought to cause joy and gratitude." 

11th mo. 2nd. — " Oh for more diligent service to 
the Lord, for more humility, faith, prayer fulness, 
and watchfulness, to enable me to go on my way 
trusting in the Lord, and in the power of His 
might." 

5th. — " Bright hopes to-day that I shall yet be 
permitted to go on my way rejoicing that the Lord 
will not cast me off for ever, but that though he cause 
grief, yet will he have compassion according to the 
multitude of his mercies." 

10th. — " Day after day the Lord gives me health 
and strength. Do I spend the strength which the 
4 



38 LUCY PEASE. 

Lord hath given me sufficiently to His service ? Oh, 
rather, how far short I continually fall of that stan- 
dard to which I would attain ! Among other sins, I 
often detect myself in acts of selfishness, from which 
I think the true Christian should be exempt. This 
very evening I have to lament my failing in this re- 
spect. How many evils spring from selfishness ! Is 
it not the parent of pride, and ambition and vanity ? 
It leads us to many things which we have to grieve 
over. Dear Lord, strengthen me to guard against it, 
and help me to maintain the watch. Do thou aid me 
for Jesus' sake. How much need we have to put on 
the whole armour of God, that we may be able to 
stand against the wiles of the devil!" 

13th. — ."What a beautiful and comprehensive 
description of faith is that of the apostle, where he 
says it is i the substance of things hoped for, the evi- 
dence of things not seen/ — Our God is invisible to 
us as mortals, but by the vital principle of faith, we 
believe that he is God, and that he is a re warder of 
those who diligently seek him. By it too, we are 
enabled to feel the efficacy of the blood of the atone- 
ment, and the power of the Holy Spirit to strengthen 
and support through the journey of life; and fur- 
ther — we are enabled to see our Heavenly Father 
through his creation, and admire Him in His crea- 
ture man, and in all the works of His hands, — for 
from the least of animated nature, to the very high- 
est in the scale, through every varied form of crea- 
tion, is to be seen the designing hand of an Infinite 
Intelligence/' 



LUCY PEASE. 39 

"Oh for more of this living faith which would 
grow and increase. — c If ye have faith/ said our 
blessed Lord, 'ye shall say unto this mountain, Be 
thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea, and it 
shall be done/ — " If ye have faith as a grain of mus- 
tard seed/ — showing that true faith from the very 
least beginnings, is capable of increasing so as to 
enable us, according to our need, to overcome every 
difficulty, even should it appear like a mountain." 

18th. — " My birth-day ! — twenty-one years com- 
pleted in my existence. Oh ! how have they been 
spent ? I look back, and might be overwhelmed in 
the thought of how much longer and more actively 
I have served Satan than my God. But when I 
faint and am discouraged, it is well to remember that 
the time which is passed we cannot now recall, but 
can only pray that our sins — yes, grievous transgres- 
sions, may be blotted out through the blood of Jesus, 
and that we may be enabled to press forwards with 
double diligence. May I now, having known some- 
thing of the blessed privileges of the Gospel, be 
enabled to endure hardness as a good soldier of Jesus 
Christ!" 

21st. First-day. — "Attended our little meeting 
this morning, when I trust I was not altogether un- 
profitably occupied, but I would that I could abstract 
my thoughts more entirely from the world, and for- 
get everything which in the least degree hinders my 
spiritual progress. But oh, how difficult is this at- 
tainment, for our enemy is ever ready to throw across 
our mind some thought, which may soon carry us far 



40 LUCY PEASE. 

away from true communion with heaven, if we are 
not ever on the watch." 

It is delightful to observe in this young Christian 
a mind of activity and beauty, united with a soul 
devoted to, and watchfully walking before its God. 
How lovely and how influential for good is such a 
character in the various relations of life ! Of her 
own power and attainments she had a very humble 
view, and on one occasion, in which she regrets they 
were so limited, she writes thus : " Is it a want of 
willingness to be content with those abilities which 
my God has given me? Perhaps my desire may 
spring from pride, then it surely cannot be right. 
We may believe that the one talent, if rightly em- 
ployed, would receive the blessing, as well as the two 
or the five : according to our abilities, will the Lord 
require service at our hands, and we are never to 
despair because our attainments may seem so much 
below those of many of our fellow-pilgrims, but in 
humble hope are to press forwards. Would that I 
had more confidence in the mighty power of God's 
Holy Spirit, and yet feared to offend Him in the 
least degree, and then I should doubtless be enabled 
to overcome every temptation which might try me. 
Would that I were more willing that the Lord should 
do with me just as seemeth right to Him in His in- 
scrutable wisdom, and that I never queried what can 
this mean? or what can that mean? when I am 
walking through dark paths, where there is no light 
to cheer. We are vain reasoners, and are often 
brought into a labyrinth of perplexity when we come to 



LUCY PEASE. 41 

question what some of the Lord's dealings can mean. 
Our part is to lie passive in his holy hand, and to 
have faith to believe, that all things work together 
for good to them that love God." 

"We are reading J. Hutchinson's letters; they 
are most interesting and instructive. His path 
seems often to have been through dark valleys and 
through many afflictions, both outwardly and in- 
wardly, yet ' out of them all the Lord delivered 
him/ and now I doubt not he is rejoicing amid the 
countless multitude in the presence of his God and 
Saviour." 

12th mo. 5th. First-day. — " Attended both our 
little meetings to-day. I think I am not sufficiently 
thankful for the blessing of health. How many 
there are who would rejoice to meet publicly with 
their fellow-christians, to endeavour to worship God, 
but who are deprived of this by the precious boon 
of health being withheld from them ! When we 
come to feel the loss of it, then we begin to estimate 
its value as a gift from God, and we can feel for, and 
sympathize with, those to whom it is denied." 

" It seems marvellous sometimes, when we are per- 
mitted a taste of the joys of the believer, to think 
that heavenly things have not more hold upon us, 
that we cannot turn our minds to serious subjects 
frequently, with greater ease than we do ; but this is 
accounted for, when we remember that we have a 
cruel enemy ever on the watch to turn away our 
hearts from our God, ever ready when our watchful- 
ness is at a low ebb, to take us captive almost un- 
4* 



42 LUCY PEASE. 

awares, so that we are loudly called upon to ' watch 
and pray that we enter not into temptation/ since, 
though the spirit may be willing, the flesh is weak." 

" I desire, and am at times I trust, enabled to 
supplicate fervently, that I may serve the Lord with 
full purpose of heart. what do I not desire to be, 
in the way of an humble Christian, but I sometimes 
deeply fear that I am not making that progress which 
I ought. May faith and patience be triumphant 
over all the cruel temptations of the enemy ! I will 
not relinquish my trust in the Rock of Ages, for 
pardon and for help, and strength ; the Lord assist- 
ing me, I will not let go my love to my precious 
Saviour, but I will, by the help of the Holy Spirit, 
still press towards the mark for the prize of the high 
calling of God in Christ Jesus." 

" We are hoping for the pleasure of seeing my 
dear father home, a few days hence. This indeed 
will be truly delightful, and I hope we shall feel 
thankful to have him return to his family after so lon^ 
an absence. His time, I believe, has -been very pro- 
fitably employed ; and in the conclusion of this ser- 
vice I trust he will find he has lost nothing, but 
gained much, by giving up so long a time to be the 
companion of one of the Lord's messengers." 

" Would that I could do more for my God and 
Saviour, but at present I feel myself only qualified 
to be passive in his service, and so weak am I, and 
so small my faith at times appears, that even this 
seems a difficult service. 0, that I were more inde- 
pendent, less excitable, and cared less for my fellow- 



LUCY PEASE. 43 

man, but could walk more through the world as on a 
journey, and as though I were travelling a danger- 
ous path, for such indeed it is ; and we find the ne- 
cessity of our Lord's two-fold, beautiful and simple 
admonition which he left to his disciples, < Watch and 
pray/ " 

* * * u What is death to the Christian, but a 
change from this land of blended pleasures and trials, 
to one of unmixed felicity — from a land where Satan 
is permitted to hurl his fiery darts even against the 
believer in Christ Jesus, to one where God doth 
dwell — where nothing can tempt the justified and 
sanctified spirits — where the soul is never weary of 
contemplating the goodness of its Lord and Maker — 
where it may feel the full power, and more nearly es- 
timate the value, of the great and marvellous sacri- 
fice which the blessed Jesus made, when He left the 
unutterable glories of the Heavenly Jerusalem, to 
become a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief 
for our sakes ; to suffer buffeting and scorn^ and die 
the death of a malefactor without the gates of Jeru- 
salem here below. adorable love and matchless 
mercy ! would that I had more power even to com- 
prehend what Jesus has done for mankind — and for 
me, I trust. for more strength to love Him for it, 
and to do His holy will." 

1st mo. 16th, 1842. — "0 may I feel sufficiently 
grateful to Him who has power to give or withhold 
from us, who can brighten or sadden our prospects 
as He sees best for us. Thanks, unspeakable thanks, 
and praise inexpressible for all his mercies. The 



44 LUCY PEASE. 

meeting this morning was a silent one, but I trust 
not forsaken on that account by the glorious Head 
of the Church." 

"I have been much struck lately with the very 
beautiful and appropriate type which the scapegoat, 
under the Mosaic dispensation, formed of him whc 
came to usher into the world a new and glorious 
covenant. * * * Surely the path, which he 
trod in mercy and infinite love for our sakes, was as 
through a wilderness, for he was tempted in all points 
like as we are, yet without sin — He was a man of 
sorrows and acquainted with grief — He was wounded 
for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniqui- 
ties, the chastisement of our peace was upon him, 
and with his stripes we are healed." 

" During a short time to-day I have been led to 
reflect on that text where the apostle of the Gentiles 
says, ' I am crucified with Christ, nevertheless I live, 
yet not I, but Christ liveth in me, and the life which 
I now live in the flesh, I live by the faith of the Son 
of God/ who loved me and gave himself for me/ 
What a comprehensive passage this is ! 1 1 am cru- 
cified with Christ, nevertheless I live/ Thus he 
had put off the old man which is corrupt according 
to the deceitful lusts, and had put on the new man, 
which after God is created in righteousness and true 
holiness." 

" The Psalmist says, i My flesh and my heart fail- 
eth, but God is the strength of my heart and my 
portion for ever/ I can indeed respond to this em- 
phatic language, for my flesh and my heart seemed 



LUCY PEASE. 45 

to fail me for the last few days, wherein Satan has 
been busy with a crowd of sinful thoughts, and by 
presenting first one train of unrighteous feelings and 
then another, has wearied the poor soul, so that she 
has been ready almost to wish that the warfare were 
accomplished. But this, too, is surely wrong, for a 
far deeper sense of might, by the Lord's Spirit in 
the inner man, I would experience, if it be His holy 
will, ere called to put off this tabernacle ; and a far 
deeper sense also of the love of God in Christ Jesus 
— far stronger faith — far more freedom from the 
enemy — far more of the glorious liberty of the Gospel. 
may I be enabled to dwell nearer the fount of all 
healing, nearer the Sun of Righteousness, nearer 
Thy throne of grace ! " 

" The Sabbath, and a day I think in which the 
Lord hath been pleased to manifest Himself by His 
Holy Spirit to many hearts who desired to wait upon 
Him. Though our meetings have both been silent, 
yet as a little renewal of strength seemed granted, I 
cannot but believe that our Heavenly Father hath 
been pleased to be with the two or three gathered 
together in His nanie." 

" Oh the preciousness of the blood of Christ ! if 
our faith be but truly placed in Him, we need never 
despair. The fountain set open unto the house of 
Israel for sin and for uncleanness, is a fountain the 
streams whereof make glad; and we question the 
efficiency of the power of the great and glorious 
offering on Calvary when we think it impossible that 
we should be saved because of our weight of sins. 



46 LUCY PEASE. 

The life of sorrow, and painful death, which our dear 
Redeemer suffered, was for the sins of the whole 
world — for all — how great soever our transgressions ; 
so that we need not despair, though feeling conscious 
of our deep unworthiness." 

In the spring of 1842, Lucy Fryer was married 
to Thomas Pease, and this union, during its brief 
continuance, proved one of much happiness. 

On the 21st of 1st mo. 1844, she writes : — " An- 
other year has entered \ marked, I trust, with the 
desire to remember the uncertainty of life, and the 
rapid flight of time, and, by the consideration of 
these things, to live more devotedly to God, by the en- 
deavour to hold more real communion with him; to 
know him more as my daily bread, that bread with- 
out which we have no true life. But yet I do not 
attain this equally with my earnest desire. It may 
be because I do not ask aright, and have not that 
simple, child-like faith, which our blessed Saviour so 
beautifully describes. — Matt, xviii. 2 ; Luke xviii. 
18, 17. My spiritual enemies have still strong power 
over me, tempting me in very many ways; and this 
surely is an evidence of my want of faith ; for those 
who possess it rightly, are introduced into the liberty 
wherewith Christ maketh free; and though still 
warriors, are successful ones, not being conquered by 
their foe/' 

In the early part of this year, she was brought 
into much trial on account of the illness of her 



LUCY PEASE. 47 

beloved husband, who, whilst in Ireland, was attacked 
with hemorrhage from the lungs. — In reference to 
this circumstance, she writes — 

7th mo. 24th, 1844. — " The last half-year has 
been an eventful one in various ways, yet owned I 
trust, by the hand of God, working the necessary 
chastisement upon his erring, wandering child. — My 
beloved husband's illness appeared in the second 
month, during his absence of two weeks in Ireland. 
I was plunged into deep and inexpressible grief in 
hearing of it, fearing the sequel, but in great mercy 
our God has granted his life until now — and allowed 
the hope that his health may be regained. — Oh I feel 
that I needed this chastening, but am sometimes ready 
to fear it is not working so powerfully in me as it 
ought : — Grant, most holy Lord, that it may in- 
deed make me more continually watchful and prayer- 
ful, and work a lesson of faith and patience in my 
poor soul." 

These extracts, though evidently written only for 
private use, evince a conscientiousness, a careful 
walking, a simple faith, and at times a sweet fore- 
taste of heaven, which are instructive and encourag- 
ing ; and which it is hoped may, as they answer to 
the experience of others, or as they may stimulate to 
seek the like precious faith, be blessed to many, in 
pursuing the heavenward journey. 

One trait in the character of this young person is 
especially deserving of notice, the exemplary care 
she uniformly maintained to avoid speaking evil of 



48 LUCY PEASE. 

others. Her humility was too sincere and genuine 
to allow her to be censorious ; she seemed to have in 
this respect, that charity which thinketh no evil. 
She was also remarkably conscientious in the selec- 
tion of her reading. 

In the autumn of 1844, in the midst of anxiety 
respecting her husband's health and preparations foi 
a distant voyage, she was seized with the illness 
which terminated her life. This was of rather more 
than two weeks' continuance; and in the early part 
of it, she expressed fears that her mind had been too 
much occupied latterly with temporal things. But 
it pleased her heavenly Father to remove all doubts, 
and a joyful trust in the mercy of God through Jesus 
Christ, was granted her. She felt the comfort of 
having given her strength to her God and Saviour, 
and the exceeding preciousness of those consolations 
and well-grounded hopes which, when in health and 
in the prospect of lengthened life, she had earnestly 
sought and prayed for. 

The tenor of her expressions was indicative of 
deep humility, and her patience under extreme 
bodily suffering was remarkable and very instruc- 
tive. It might truly be said she was rejoicing in 
hope, patient in tribulation, continuing instant in 
prayer. She seemed to have no wish to recover, but 
for the last twenty-four hours was longing to depart 
and be with Christ. Heaven and heavenly things 
had gained possession of her mind; the body was 
fast losing its powers, and returning to the dust; the 
beauty of its form was perishing, and the redeemed 



LUCY PEASE. 49 

spirit was rising into greater vitality, in daily an- 
ticipation of taking flight, she much enjoyed hearing 
portions of Scripture and hymns; and, when able, 
would unite in repeating them. Amongst many 
others, the 23rd Psalm, the latter part of the 7th of 
Revelations, and the 15th of 1st Corinthians. The 
hymn of Cowper's, beginning, 

"How sweet the name of Jesus sounds," 
was a favourite one, and she repeated some lines of it 
within an hour of her decease. 

Throughout her illness she was much engaged in 
prayer : — some of her expressions were remembered 
and noted down. Repeatedly she uttered these and 
similar words — a Come dear Jesus, wash me clean, 
make me more and more fit for thee— I want to sing 
a song, a song of praise — Oh how sweet to be with 
Jesus in his temple. — I have been far too long in 
coming — I have been such a loiterer — but what 
a delightful thought, that there is hope even for 
me!" 

Being asked if she had anything to say about her 
little girls, " Oh no," she replied, " my mind is made 
up about them — I only wish them to be brought up 
for Jesus. — He is very precious to me. Tell every 
one to serve Him when they are very young, and 
not as I have done, defer it too long. Oh, Jesus 
Christ, we trust Thou wilt not cast us off, but save 
us through thy precious blood. Jesus, our Saviour, 
we hope to be free, because Thou hast died for us." 

At intervals she continued to express similar 
feelings of hope and confidence in her Redeemer, 
5 



50 LUCY PEASE. 

till, on the evening of the 2nd of 9th month, 1844, 
in the 24th year of her age, she peacefully breathed 
her last, and we reverently believe that her redeemed 
and purified spirit has joined that innumerable com- 
pany which surround the throne, and unite in the as- 
cription of thanksgiving and praise to the Lord God 
and the Lamb. 



CHAELES KICHAKDSON, 



OF 



NEWCASTLE-ON-TYNE 



Charles Richardson, son of John and Sarah 
Richardson, was born at Newcastle-on-Tyne, on the 
27th of 12th mo., 1826, and died there, on the 24th 
of 3rd mo., 1846, aged about 19 years and 4 months. 

At the age of about nine he was placed at Friends' 
School at York, where he continued six years. 
During most of that time, especially the latter part 
of it, his conduct and conversation evinced that the 
fear of the Lord was before him. It was his daily 
practice on retiring to rest, to review the actions of 
the day, and pray to his heavenly Father for renewed 
ability to obey his holy will. Kindness and truth- 
fulness marked his intercourse with others \ but his 
peculiar characteristic was more than ordinary firm- 
ness in doins; whatever he believed to be riolit. In 
obedience to this principle, on one occasion, whilst 
at school, when his firmness was put to a severe test, 
he courageously stood alone, silently and unobtru- 
sively refusing to do as his classmates did, because he 

(51) 



52 CHARLES KirilAKOSON. 

believed that so doing would involve unkindness and 
injustioe. 

Twelve months after he had left York school, he 

paid B short visit there on passing through the citj. 
In a lot tor to one of his cousins, who was still at 
school, he speaks of the enjoyment he had had in the 
visit, and says that kk he had not one uncomfortable 
fooling in re-entering the establishment," and adds, 
"I feel persuaded that it' I had not endeavoured, 
whilst a scholar, to perform my duty towards my 
teachers and school-follows, and give satisfaction to 
my master and mistress, my feelings would have boon 
very different; would they not have been those of 
sorrow and regret 7" 

After leaving school, he remained at home for 
about a year, when it was concluded to place him for 
two years with his relatives at Plymouth. Whilst he 
was there, he made diligent use of the time not em- 
ployed in business, in the cultivation ot 4 his mind, and 
rose early for that purpose. In this way he acquired 
a large fund of knowledge on various subjects. 

Whilst he was at Plymouth, he began to keep a 
diary, which is thus prefaced : — 

1843, — "I have for some time past thought, that 
it would be very interesting to keep a diary or jour- 
nal, in which events which might otherwise escape 
my memory, may be entered, and to which at a 
futare period 1 may refer with pleasure. It is witli 
this view, and that of rendering me more circum- 
spect in life and conversation, that I am induced at 



CHARLES RICHARDSON. 53 

this time to begin to keep such an account, trusting 
that it may be accompanied with the Divine blessing." 

At this time his appearance indicated health and 
the enjoyment of life, and he entered with alacrity 
into its innocent pleasures. His deportment was 
cheerful, and the mental exercises through which he 
passed were not fully known, even to his parents, 
till after his decease, when his memoranda were 
found in his desk; and probably he himself little 
apprehended at that time, that the Lord was thus 
mercifully preparing him for an early removal to the 
world above. If the perusal of his remarks should 
encourage any into whose hands they may come, to 
yield their hearts to the power of Divine grace, they 
will not have been written in vain. 

His natural disposition was somewhat timid and 
retiring, yet we find him endeavouring to employ his 
talents for usefulness, and desiring to overcome his 
natural timidity when it was likely to hinder him 
from doing good. 

He sympathized with those under affliction, and 
has frequently recorded the tenderness of his feelings 
towards his relatives, and others, when under such 
circumstances. 

His diary indicates a state of mind earnestly desi- 
rous to press forward in the heavenward course, and 
to walk acceptably before God. He often noted in 
it, his wish to be diligent in the perusal of the Holy 
Scriptures. In one place he speaks of the Bible 
given him by his aunt, being his daily companion. 
In another place he says, " To-day I have commenced 
5* 



54 CHARLES RICHARDSON. 

the Bible afresh, reading in course the Old Testa- 
ment in the morning, and the New Testament in the 
evening. how great has been my desire, that the 
re-perusal of its sacred pages may prove profitable 
and instructive to me." He continued the practice 
of daily reading some portion of the Holy Scriptures, 
till within a few days of his decease. 

The entries in his diary were often made on a 
First-day, when he was more at liberty from busi- 
ness, and he frequently noticed the communications 
of Friends in the ministry, some of which appear to 
have been blessed to him, comforting and strengthen- 
ing him in his conflicts between flesh and spirit. 

The following extracts, written by him at different 
times, are descriptive of his religious feelings. 

" This morning I attended meeting, I am afraid, 
to but little profit. Nothing was said in the line of 
ministry, and I felt a considerable difficulty in ab- 
stracting my mind from earthly and temporal thoughts, 
and fixing; them on things eternal. Oh ! how ear- 
nestly do I desire that I may in future be strengthened 
to wait upon the Lord in singleness of heart in these 
our religious assemblies, and be given to feel the gra- 
cious presence and covering of his Holy Spirit. Oh ! 
how great is my weakness, and, under a deep sense 
of it, I desire to be humbled." 

"I sincerely hope that the observance of the prac- 
tice of waiting before the Lord may be unremittingly 
persevered in, both morning and evening, believing 



CHARLES RICHARDSON. 55 

it will tend to the preservation and well-being of my 
immortal soul." 

" At times throughout the day, I have felt much 
discouraged, and have been brought very low through 
a deep sense of my own sinfulness and weakness. I 
have been led earnestly to entreat the Almighty that 
my sins may be for ever blotted out, and that I may, 
in time to come, be preserved from sinning, and be 
delivered from evil. That I may know my heart to 
be cleansed, to be washed and made white in the 
blood of the Lamb/ The gracious promise is re- 
corded, i though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be 
as white as snow; though they be red as crimson, 
they shall be as wool/ Amen." 

"In taking a little retrospect of my recent life and 
conduct this evening, I have felt sorry to find what 
slight progress I have made in my journey heaven- 
ward, and oh ! how earnest are my desires that Al- 
mighty Grod would be pleased in his unmerited mercy 
and loving-kindness, and for the sake of his dear 
Son, to pardon all my past sins — sins of omission and 
commission more than 1 can number — that He would 
give me strength in future to avoid every temptation, 
and resist the great enemy of my soul's salvation." 

" To-day I have been more careful in what I have 
suffered to pass my tongue ) still I have to mourn 
over the difficulty I have in keeping my thoughts 
fixed on right subjects, and my eye directed towards 
the Lord with a willingness to be his entirely ! Oh ! 
how do I desire that my temper and conversation 
may correspond with my profession, and that I may 



56 CHARLES RICHARDSON. 

walk worthy of the high vocation wherewith I am 
called J" 

" I feel much regret when I reflect how little my 
though ts, words, and actions are what they ought to 
be, how little they accord with those of a genuine 
child of the Lord, whose eye is directed in singleness 
of heart unto him. for watchfulness ! increased 
watchfulness ! " 

" This morning I arose with an earnest desire that 
I might spend the day in a really becoming manner : 
but oh, how great is my weakness ; I erred, and my 
peace of mind was for a time broken, but I trust I 
am in mercy forgiven. The spirit indeed is willing, 
but the flesh is weak." 

" I believe it may be well to record what occurred 
to me in meeting this morning for my future instruc- 
tion, as an instance or illustration of that gracious 
declaration of our blessed Lord when personally on 
earth, t Ask, and ye shall receive/ During the fore 
part of the meeting, having felt for a considerable 
time exceedingly drowsy, insomuch that I hardly 
knew how to keep my eyes open, and was in danger 
of falling asleep, I was at length led to petition the 
Lord on my own behalf, when, to my surprise, (faith- 
less creature as I am,) I was immediately and 
thoroughly roused and awakened, and did not again, 
during the remainder of the sitting, feel any inclina- 
tion to go to sleep." 

" In the morning meeting, after a time of con- 
siderable anguish of soul, brought on by a deep sense 
of my own many shortcomings and transgressions, I 



CHARLES RICHARDSON. 57 

was much cheered by a consoling and very acceptable 
address from one of our own ministers. Soon after, 
a minister on a religious visit to these parts rose with 
this passage — i Is there no balm in Grilead ? Is there 
no physician there ? Why then is not the health of 
the daughter of my people recovered ? ' Soon after, 
the same friend appeared in supplication. During 
the remainder of the sitting, I was permitted to 
enjoy a season of great peace of mind." 

" In the evening meeting, the same friend again 
spoke, exhorting us, as Christians, constantly to stand 
on the watch-tower; for the enemy of our soul's sal- 
vation layeth snares, and baiteth them according to 
our inclinations and desires." 

" I have had a sense given me this day of my sin- 
fulness and proneness to evil, and feel the need of 
daily prayer that thereby my steps may be directed 
aright. It is essential to the health of my immortal 
soul — I feel that it is so." 

" I believe it right this evening, though with very 
painful feelings, to record my own backsliding this 
day, in having yielded to temptation, against the dic- 
tates of conscience. that I had cried to the Al- 
mighty when tempted, for preservation against the 
wiles of my unwearied enemy. Then, indeed, I 
believe He would have been pleased to hear me, and 
deliver me from evil. But Oh how I slighted the 
reproofs of the inward monitor, and lamentable truly 
has been the consequence. May it please Almighty 
Goodness to look down, and pardon my transgression, 
and strengthen me to resist temptation for the future." 



58 CHARLES RICHARDSON 

The foregoing extracts from Charles Richardson's 
diary, are descriptive of his religious experience and 
of the Lord's gracious dealings with him whilst yet 
in health. We may now behold the faithfulness of 
a covenant-keeping God, who, when his flesh and his 
heart failed, became the strength of his heart, and 
his portion for ever. 

The complaint of which he died was pulmonary 
consumption. He had enjoyed good health from the 
time of his leaving school to the autumn of 1844, 
when he had the measles, from which he soon re- 
covered, and appeared to be as well as usual. In 
the following spring he caught a severe cold, which 
seemed nearly to leave him during the summer, but 
returned in the autumn, with symptoms of declining 
health. The medical efforts employed to relieve him 
proving unavailing, he was taken in the 12th month 
for change of air to the neighbourhood of Plymouth, 
where he remained about two months, his health 
during that time gradually declining. 



Under date of 9th mo. 30th, 1845,.he writes: — 
Since I made my last entry I have been under 
medical care, without having derived much benefit. 
My cough and weakness of the chest still continue, 
so as to prevent my attending to business or any- 
thing else in the way of advancement in study, or 
the culture of the mind by solid reading, which I 
much regret. But health is of paramount import- 
ance, and must not be neglected." 

11th mo. 15th. — "This evening called; 



a 



CHARLES RICHARDSON. 59 

his company was very agreeable. On my making a 
few remarks to him just before he left, on the de- 
pressing tendency of the reflection that I had been 
able to do so little in assisting my father in his busi- 
ness, or in benefiting others, he very opportunely 
said, 'That it should rather excite feelings of grati- 
tude and thankfulness to the Disposer of events, and 
the great Giver of all good, that I was so circum- 
stanced as not to be under the necessity of attending 
regularly to business for the sake of my daily sup- 
port, which many of the working classes would be 
obliged to do, even when out of health/ How slow 
am I in appreciating as I ought the benefits of a 
bountiful Providence, and what a favour it is to have 
friends to whom we can sometimes look for Christian 
comfort and instruction, though the inward monitions 
of the ( still small voice ' are sufficient, if properly 
attended to." 

12th mo. 7th. — " Surely I have much to be thank- 
ful for in the renewed tokens of kindness and remem- 
brance extended towards me by my relations and 
friends, but especially by my beloved parents. I 
fully believe that my indisposition is in accordance 
with the will of my heavenly Father, to which it is 
my fervent desire to feel fully resigned, trusting, 
that however afflicting his dispensations are, I may 
prove their sanctifying influence, so as to find in each 
a portion of his blessing, which, indeed, I am quite 
sensible I do not deserve. What then, but feelings 
of gratitude and thankfulness should pervade my 
soul ? Yet I must own that discouragement; and a 



60 CHARLES RICHARDSON. 

spirit of repining, are much more frequently obstruct- 
ing my path as I sit wearied with sameness of posi- 
tion or posture, and often feel so poorly as to be un- 
able to read or do anything with satisfaction. Oh ! 
how anxious am I for a more contented spirit ! " 

12th mo. 27th. — "This day I am nineteen years 
of age. Little did I suppose on the last anniversary 
of this my natal day, that on my next I should be 
again located not exactly in, certainly, but within a 
mile of Plymouth, my frame enervated and debili- 
tated by the use of strong medicines, taken to relieve 
pulmonary disease, though without avail, and at 
length induced to try the effects of this more genial 
clime, which under the Divine blessing, has often 
restored others to the enjoyment of comparative 
health. It seems surprising to reflect that exactly 
ten years have passed away since I was first placed at 
York School ; and the words of my dear mother, 
before I left home for the first time, are recalled to 
my memory. They were few and simple, and were 
uttered while tears stood in her eyes — ' My dear, my 
much loved son, this day have nine years rolled over 
thy little head, and my earnest prayer to the Al- 
mighty on thy behalf is, that His blessing may rest 
upon thee/ And now after a period of ten years, it 
is my belief that His protecting care has never for- 
saken me, but attended me throughout, preserving 
me from many unforeseen dangers; but I have to 
record my having often slighted the convictions of 
His good Spirit, and have often in consequence been 
led astray, but there have been times in which I 



CHARLES RICHARDSON. 61 

have been tendered, and brought to a sense of my 
transgressions, under its influence. The earnest 
prayer of my soul at this time is, that should I be 
in mercy permitted to live to see my 20th birthday, 
I may be able to look back and perceive that the 
year has been one of greater devotion to the will of 
God, and one in which I have done more to His 
glory than during the one which has just flown away, 
and which I mourn to consider is loaded with innu- 
merable blemishes and spots. that I may know 
these to be all wiped away, through the atoning blood 
of the dear Son of God." 

1st mo. 4th, 1846. — " Since having been here I 
have experienced ease of mind, and I have been on 
the whole comparatively happy. But of late I have 
been tried with a fear lest this ease and contentment 
arises from a state of lukewarmness as regards my 
eternal interests — from a state of indifference to the 
convictions of the Holy Spirit, and yet I believe it 
has been my endeavour to look to the Lord from day 
to day since I have been here, though I am fully sen- 
sible that it has not been with all that earnestness 
which becomes the truly dependent Christian." 

1st mo. 7th. — "I have finished the Life of John 
Woolman, which is very interesting, and replete 
with instruction of various kinds. His great devo- 
tion to his Master's service, some of his scruples, 
and his deep interest in the liberty of the negro, are 
remarkable features in his journal. It is well worth 
a second perusal. I have also read the Life of John 
Warren Howell, a surgeon of Bath. He was a 
6 



62 CHARLES RICHARDSON. 

scientific man, of integrity, but * living without God 
in the world/ He was at length, on a dying pillow, 
brought to a knowledge of the truth as it is in Jesus, 
and he died in perfect peace, rejoicing in his Saviour 
who had shed his precious blood for him." 

1st mo. 16th. — " I have been brought to see the 
utter uselessness of all that appertains to this world, 
when the soul shall be called upon to stand before 
the Judge of all the earth. Nothing then will be 
of any avail but a heart cleansed from all sin, washed 
and made white in the blood of the Lamb. may 
I (should it please the Giver of all good to prolong 
my life) be willing at all times to follow the leadings 
and guidance of his Good Spirit ! " 

1st mo. 18th. First-day. — " Again, in the remem- 
brance of my dear parents' wish for this day, I en- 
deavoured this morning to seek a state of reverent 
silence before my God, but through unwatchfulness 
it was a time of barrenness only, for which I have 
had to mourn. May I be favoured this afternoon 
with some of the outpouring of that Divine Love 
which can make the heart glad." 

1st mo. 22nd. — "I have been much humbled 
before my Heavenly Father, in prayer, for my many 
sins, and since, I have been favoured with a feeling 
of refreshment from his presence, in the strength of 
which I feel enabled to sing praises — glad praises — 
unto the Lamb, who alone can wash away my guilt 
through the efficacy of his precious blood." 

He returned home in the 2nd month, 1846, and 



CHARLES RICHARDSON. 63 

the day after his arrival there, he made the following 
entry in his diary : — 

2nd mo. 3rd. — ".I humbly desire to record the 
thankfulness I feel to my Almighty Parent for his 
goodness in bringing us thus safely home, so great a 
distance, and for blessing me with such kind earthly 
parents and relatives, so ready to be helpful to me in 
every way possible. I am considerably worse and 
weaker than when I left home, and to me it seems 
very doubtful which way my complaint will turn. I 
think I may say — humbly say, in truth — that I am 
fully resigned to die, could I but feel confident that 
my sins are forgiven. My fervent prayers have 
many, many times been put up before the Throne of 
Grace to this effect, that my numerous sins might 
be washed away in the blood of Jesus, and I have 
generally found peace of mind for my portion, but 
I often fear that this feeling may arise from luke- 
warmness or Id difference. Oh ! the prayer of my 
inmost soul is that this may not be the case. Oh ! 
that the joys of Heaven may one day be mine. 
May the Holy Spirit dwell continually within me, to 
guide me to its gates of praise. Then shall I be per- 
mitted to dwell for ever with the Father, and with 
his Son my Redeemer, who is Love inexpressible. 
Oh ! the wonderful greatness of His Majesty who 
formed the universe, as well as the smallest of crea- 
tures. What power ! What knowledge ! Oh ! to 
be where He is, and to partake of that bliss which 
it hath not entered into the heart of man to conceive/' 



64 CHARLES RICHARDSON. 

2nd mo. 5th. — " My recovery seems very doubt- 
ful, as the disease has made such progress. I only 
seem to want a full assurance that my sins are for- 
given in order to make me resigned to die, for assu- 
redly it is far better to go and to be for ever with 
Him, than to remain in this world of toil and woe, 
though it has indeed manv attractions and ties from 
which it will be hard to part. My mind has been 
raised to-day in the voice of thanksgiving and grati- 
tude to Him from whom all our blessings flow, for 
the many comforts I enjoy, now in a time of sick- 
ness, which thousands of the poor, when they are 
brought into the same condition, are necessarily 
debarred from." 

2nd mo. 22nd. — "I have just had some sweet 
conversation with my dear father on my own state, 
and on the inexpressible love of God, and his Son 
Jesus Christ. This is a sweet subject to meditate 
upon, and one I much delight in. To whom is it 
possible we can owe more, than to Him who died 
that we might become the inheritors of life everlast- 
ing. My strength diminishes day by day, and I can 
hardly expect to live many days. The Lord, how- 
ever, knoweth only the times and the seasons. I 
think I may say with truth that I feel all my past 
sins to be blotted out. I feel a peace of mind that 
is very comfortable, and can look forward with a hope 
full of immortality. I often think of the mercy of 
the Almighty in leading me along so very gently in 
this illness ; whilst many labouring under the same 



CHARLES RICHARDSON. 65 

complaint are racked with acute bodily pain, I have 
none worth mentioning." 

2nd mo. 28th. Seventh-day. — " I have for the last 
few days been arranging a few presents to give to my 
relatives and friends, in which I have felt comforted 
and easy. Indeed, the peace of my mind has latterly 
flowed as a river in the full hope of immortality." 

This was the last entry he made in his diary. He 
afterwards wrote, with his own hand, the inscriptions 
in the books he wished to leave as little memorials to 
be given after his death, to some of his nearest rela- 
tives and friends, and then he seemed to have done 
with the things of this world. In the earlier stages 
of his illness, he did not express much of his mental 
conflicts, but towards the end he seemed to feel a 
greater freedom to speak of the state of his mind. 
The cheerfulness and serenity of his spirit bore evi- 
dence to those around, that all was well with him. 
At one time he said he felt all his sins forgiven, and 
had a good hope of future bliss. 

At another time, he said, he often felt his Saviour 
very near, though sometimes a' feeling of desertion 
was permitted. He alluded to that passage of Scrip- 
ture, " Can a woman forget her sucking child? &c. ; 
yes, she may forget, yet will not I forget thee, saith 
the Lord," and said that no love was comparable to 
Divine Love — so great, so infinite. He repeated the 
first verse of the hymn beginning, 

" Love Divine, all Love excelling," 
6* 



66 CHARLES RICHARDSON. 

and said, " If I nii^ht, I should not wish to change 
my present situation." 

3rd mo. 9th. — He called his parents to his bed- 
side, and desired them to assist him on his knees. 
He was now too weak to do this without help. He 
then in a solemn manner prayed to the Almighty for 
His blessing on them, and on his dear brothers and 
sisters, and returned thanks on his own account for 
the many blessings he had received. 

3rd mo. 12th. — He said he hoped his continuance 
in such a trying state of weakness might not be pro- 
longed, but added, he often prayed for patience. In 
these wearisome days, the language of his sweet 
spirit, and occasionally of his lips, was, " I am ready 
when it is the Lord's will." 

Yery early on the morning of the 24th, he called 
his parents to his bed-side, saying, " Come, let me 
take leave of you, when I am able. He put his arms 
round his father's neck, and said he thanked him for 
all his tender care, and turning to his dear mother, 
in like manner, he thanked her for -her tender love 
and care of him. He then took an affectionate and 
solemn leave of them both, and said he hoped they 
should meet again in heaven. After having done 
this, he lay down again and had some sleep. About 
seven o'clock he awoke, and said he felt the end was 
come, and after a time added, he had a joyful pros- 
pect of being soon in that land where he should 
hunger no more, nor thirst any more, but be led to 
streams of living water. His three little sisters 



CHARLES RICHARDSON. 67 

came into his room and he took a tender leave of 
them, telling them he should not live to see another 
day. This impression remained on his mind; in the 
course of the day he frequently alluded to it, and 
hoped there would not be a hard struggle at the last. 
In the morning his dear grandmother and aunt 
called; he told them his end was come, and he took 
an affectionate leave of them, and of some others of 
his relations who called in the course of the day. 

He continued till about six o'clock in the evening, 
when the rupture of a vessel on the -lungs caused 
almost instant death. He had not power again to 
say, farewell; but his friends were comforted in the 
belief, that he was ready for the summons which 
called his redeemed spirit from its earthly house of 
this tabernacle, to a mansion prepared for it in heaven. 

His remains were interred in the Westgate Hill 
cemetery, on the 29th of 3rd mo., 1846. 



LUCY BUELINGHAM, 



OF 



LYNN REGIS, NORFOLK 



Lucy Burlingham was the daughter of John 



c 



and Elizabeth Burlingham, of Lynn Regis, Norfolk, 
and .died the 26th of 9th month, 1848, aged 26 
years. 

When quite young, she was distinguished for 
sweetness of temper, gentleness, and refinement. An 
anxious desire for intellectual improvement, combined 
with educational advantages, aided the healthy de- 
velopment of her mind, and by early submission to 
the power of Divine grace, a character was formed 
of uncommon loveliness. 

When a child she attended a day-school in her 
native town, where she was unremitting in her atten- 
tion to her learning, whilst a naturally delicate con- 
stitution rather indisposed her to join in the active 
sports common to that age. 

Her private memoranda exhibit her ardent love of 

nature, and the lively pleasure which she felt in 

sharing its refined enjoyments with her friends : they 

(68) 



LUCY BTJRLINGHAM. 69 

also portray the secret workings of a heart, touched 
by the tendering influences of heavenly love, and 
earnestly desiring to be brought under the safe gui- 
dance of the Spirit of Truth. 

The first record of her feelings appears to have been 
made at Crimpleshani Hall, in the spring of 1835, 
when she was in her 14th year. It is interesting as 
showing her lively appreciation of the beauties of 
nature at this early age : — 

5th ino. 15th, 1835, First-day evening. — " A more 
lovely evening I think I never beheld ; all is calm ) 
not a sound to be heard, save the sweet melody of 
the birds, singing their evening lays to their Maker. 
Not a leaf is stirring. The rabbits are sporting 
about on the velvet lawn ; nothing to disturb their 
peace, nor mar their innocent enjoyment — not a cloud 
to be seen in the azure sky! What a theme for 
wonder, praise, and admiration ! The birds, the 
trees, the flowers, all declare the wisdom and skill of 
the great Creator. Can man be insensible to all 
these charms ? Can he forget the great God who 
made not only him but them also? No, he cannot 
be so utterly blind. Let us finish this day with 
praise and thanksgiving to God, for preserving us 
from harm, and pray to him to watch over us this 
nioht and bring us safely to the light of another 
day." 

In the summer of this year she went to school at 
Worcester, where she stayed three years, and she 



70 



LUCY BURLINGHAM. 



appears to have derived much benefit from the watch- 
ful care which was there bestowod upon her. 

How important are the early steps in the Christian 
pilgrimage ! and how blessed is the experience of 
those who, in sincerity of heart, accept the invitation 
of the Saviour, " Come unto me." He declareth, 
" I am the door, by me if any man enter in he shall 
be saved, and shall go in and out and find pasture." 

"Let not conscience make thee linger, 
Nor of fitness fondly dream ; 
All the fitness He requireth 
Is to feel thy need of Him; 

This He gives thee; 
'Tis His Spirit's rising beam." 

11th mo. 6th, 1836, First-day. — " If my life 
should be spared till to-morrow, I shall be fifteen. 
What advance have I made in spiritual things since 
my last birthday ? I fear very little. how ear- 
nestly do I desire to become a child of God — one of 
the fold of Christ. This morning, while in meeting, 
I was favoured to feel sweet peace of mind. I was 
enabled, through the Holy Spirit, to draw nigh to 
God, and He indeed, in a most gracious manner, 
drew nigh unto me. I was sweetly led to the pre- 
cious Lamb of God, who died for our sins, and I felt 
as though my sins were forgiven, and though so very 
unworthy, I could see that Christ was mine, but then 
I thought it was presumptuous in me to say so. 
how weak is my faith ! Again some blessed promises 
were brought to my remembrance, and my heart did 
rejoice. I felt afresh assured that my sins were for- 



LUCY BURLINGHAM. 71 

given me, through the blood of a Saviour. Sweet 
thoughts of heaven occupied my mind during a 
great part of the meeting, but frequently did Satan 
endeavour to draw me towards earthly things \ I had 
indeed to fight hard against him. what a favour, 
that we have a Saviour to flee to in all times of trial 
and distress ! Earnestly do I desire to become 
what the Lord would have me to be, and in my daily 
conduct to set a good example to my beloved school- 
fellows." 

May our dear young friends derive instruction 
and encouragement whilst reading this brief notice 
of a First-day morning meeting, probably a silent 
one. Like the youthful writer, they may know the 
difficulty of turning away the mind from earthly 
things, the power of the enemy, and the hard fight, 
but, if really earnest in spirit, they will at times be 
permitted to feel the assurance that, for Jesus' sake, 
they are enabled acceptably to worship their Father 
which is in heaven. 

Her memoranda, during the year 1837, show that 
she carefully scrutinized her conduct, and earnestly 
desired that worldly objects might not occupy that 
place in her heart which should be given to her 
Saviour. 

On the 19th of 9th month, she writes, "I feel 
.painfully sensible of my great neglect of duty lately. 
I greatly fear I have offended my heavenly Father 
very much in various ways. I have not been sum- 



72 LUCY BURLINGHAM. 

cieDtly watchful • I have been frivolous and thought- 
less — have given way to unholy tempers. Oh that 
my heavenly Father would graciously condescend 
again to visit me ! Oh that He would make me what 
He would have me to be, and lead me in a plain 
path, and guide me ! " 

10th mo. 29th, 1837. — " My mind is too much 
engrossed with worldly concerns, to devote even a 
short time during the day to the perusal of the best 
of books. Surely I am not walking as is consistent 
for a Christian to walk, and God will be justly dis- 
pleased with me, if I continue to neglect things of 
greater importance than all my lessons and daily oc- 
cupations. Oh my heavenly Father, condescend 
once more to return and have mercy upon me; en- 
able me I earnestly entreat thee to keep my resolu- 
tion. Teach me, Lord, thy holy will, and enable 
me to do it." 

4th mo. 1st, 1838. — " Reflected on my past con- 
duct : I was renewedly made sensible that I had 
been greatly neglecting the all-important duty of 
seeking for assistance from communion with my 
heavenly Father in retirement. I earnestly entreated 
God for the sake of his dear Son, to enable me for 
the future to be more watchful over my conduct and 
conversation; and after school duties had closed, I 
retired to my own room/' 

4th mo. 3rd. — " Woke early, and read my Bible ; 
and reflected on the goodness of God towards me. 
Felt great peace in the belief that I had commenced 
this day in a manner that is pleasing in the sight of 



LUCY BTJRLINGHAM. 75 

God. that I may be preserved from again wander- 
ing from His precepts, and look solely for guidance 
and support from above ! " 

About midsummer of this year Lucy Burlingham 
left school, having, while there, by amiable conduct 
and diligent attention to her duties, gained the love 
and esteem of her teachers and schoolfellows, with 
some of whom she formed friendships which only 
ended with her life. Soon after she was attacked 
with severe illness, which greatly prostrated her 
strength and brought her very low in mind. Her 
recovery appeared very doubtful, and she passed 
through much conflict of spirit, under the fear of not 
being prepared for the solemn change. Her prayers 
were often put up to her Father in heaven, and she 
was enabled in faith to cast herself upon the mercy 
of her Saviour. 

7th mo. 7th, 1838, she writes: "On Fifth-day I 
felt as though I should never be able to combat with 
the trials and difficulties of more advanced life \ and 
I could but desire, if it were the will of my heavenly 
Father, that I might not live to grow up. But if 
He should have other prospects for me, how very 
sweet was the thought, that though I was as a little 
bark on the bosom of life's troubled sea, still, through 
the guidance of my Saviour, I should at last reach 
the haven of rest and peace. " 

Soon after she writes, " The language of my heart 
this morning is, i Create in me a clean heart, God ! 
and renew a right spirit within me/ let me not 
7 



74 LUCY BURLINGHAM. 

wander from thee ! Lead me in thy truth and teach 
me. Set a watch over my mouth, that I sin not 
with my tongue. Be very near me, I pray thee, 
my heavenly Father ! Make me more and more will- 
ing to obey 'the dictates of thy love/ and to forsake 
all and follow Christ." 

8th mo. 19th. — " The first Sabbath I have spent 
at home for one year. My mind was unexpectedly 
and sweetly tendered by the remembrance of the 
unnumbered and unmerited blessings which my 
heavenly Father had bestowed on me since quitting 
the parental roof. Tears involuntarily stole down 
my cheeks, and I could not but wonder at the good- 
ness of God towards me when I had been so un- 
mindful of His favours. The language of my soul 
was, c Incline my heart to keep thy statutes ; let 
me not wander from thy precepts. Incline my heart 
to fear thy name ! ' Would that all my beloved 
friends, far and near, could have shared my feelings 
then. may I at the last day be found among those 
who have come out of great tribulation, and have 
washed their robes and made them white in the blood 
of the Lamb." 

9th mo. 6th. — " that nothing may ever incline 
me to neglect the duty of retirement, once at least 
during the day : for at such seasons, when no eye 
but God could see, I have not unfrequently been 
favoured with a refreshing sense of His presence." 

13th. — " May I be preserved this day in a meek*, 
humble, peaceful state of mind ! May I be very 
watchful over my words and deeds, and not give way 



LUCY BURLINGHAM. 75 

to an unbecoming temper. I have many blessings 
and comforts to be thankful for. May I, should life 
be prolonged, be a comfort to my precious earthly 
parent, and be enabled in some little degree, to re- 
pay her for all her kind care towards me, not only in 
helpless infancy, but in nursing and waiting on me 
in sickness. " 

We may here introduce a few general remarks 
respecting Lucy Burlingharn ; s character and pur- 
suits, at this period of her life, before proceeding 
with the extracts from her journal. Religion was 
not with her a gloomy or exclusive sentiment; on 
the contrary, it tended to give a greater zest to her 
enjoyments, and stimulated her to the right perform- 
ance of the daily duties of life. Her heart seemed 
peculiarly formed for friendship, and the acute sen- 
sibility of her nature led her deeply to sympathize in 
the joys and sorrows of those she loved. 

A good education, rendered more effective by her 
own diligence, had laid the foundation for future 
studies, and she wisely considered that education 
does not end with school, but that self-cultivation was 
requisite to give permanency to the advantages she 
had received. 

Her desire for mental improvement and marked 
aversion to idleness, led her to make use of those 
fragments of time which are often suffered to run to 
waste. 

Whilst desiring to pursue her regular reading and 
study, she was diligent in attending to those domestic 



76 LUCY BURLINGHAM. 

duties which devolved upon her — duties which can- 
not be neglected without endangering the comfort 
and harmony of a family. In the performance of 
these, as in whatever she undertook, she was perse- 
vering and executive. 

1st mo. 1st, 1839. — She writes : " Oh enable me, 
I earnestly entreat thee, heavenly Father, to com- 
mence this year in a way which is pleasing in thy 
sight. I do desire to make a full surrender of my 
heart and affections to thy Divine guidance and 
protection. Oh help me to love Thee more and 
more." 

3rd mo. 5th. — "I know that without the atoning 
blood of a merciful Redeemer, I should be utterly 
lost ; and yet how strange it is, that my love towards 
Him who has given his life for me, should be so cold 
and dull. The earnest desire of my heart is, that I 
could love him more, that I could love him supremely, 
that I might press forward more earnestly toward 
the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in 
Christ Jesus." 

5th mo. 15th. — " Lord help me to keep firmly 
the resolutions of this evening, to seek thee with 
greater earnestness; to be more watchful over my 
thoughts, words and actions ) not to give way to idle 
conversation or join in speaking evil of others; sub- 
due my evil passions and inclinations, and make me 
a meek, humble and devoted follower of a crucified 
Redeemer. may I not shrink from the cross on 
any occasion whatever." 



LUCY BURLINGHAM. 77 

8th mo. 3rd. — " Being about to engage as a visitor 
for the Bible Society, I have earnestly desired that 
I may do it with a single eye unto the Lord. May 
I be preserved from casting a stumbling-block in the 
way of those with whom I have to do, either by my 
conduct or conversation, but may I be enabled to 
attend to my duties in simplicity and in the spirit of 
meekness and godly fear." 

In reference to her attendance of the Yearly 
Meeting of 1840, she says, " I think that the privi- 
lege of joining so deeply interesting an assembly, 
has strengthened and confirmed me more than ever 
in the principles of our religious society, and most 
earnestly do I desire that nothing may ever tempt me 
to depart in any way from them, but that I may be 
preserved from turning aside either to the right hand 
or to the left, for surely if I do, it will be cause of 
deep regret afterwards. Grace alone can keep me." 

14th of 9th mo. 1841. — In writing to an absent 
friend she alludes to the enjoyment she had in read- 
ing, speaking of it as the means of enriching the 
mind with the wealth of the great, the learned, and 
the good, and of acquiring new ideas, or learning 
facts and principles worthy of being stored. " Of 
course to do this," she continues, " we must make a 
wise and judicious selection of books, for the charac- 
ter almost imperceptibly, yet surely, takes the hue of 
those which we are in the habit of reading." 

5jx 5JC ?JC 3|C ?J^ *f% 

12th mo. 26th, 1842. — " The wind in the trees 
7* 



78 LUCY BURLINGHAM. 

reminded me of the ceaseless roar of the majestic 
ocean, and carried me back to past scenes connected 
with this never-failing source of interest. Closing 
my eyes, I could almost fancy I was at Ventnor, 
where I have watched the waves foaming and dash- 
ing, and curling over the pebbly shore, in inexpres- 
sible beauty, or breaking over some fallen pieces of 
rocks, and sending up a cloud of spray of snowy 
whiteness. how I love the ocean, in whatever 
form, in breeze, or gale, or storm; 'tis hard to say 
when it is loveliest." 

In the spring of 1844, whilst at Kamsgate, she 
was more than once brought to the borders of the 
grave, and during the following winter and spring 
remained in a very precarious state. 

From Ramsgate she writes to a distant friend : — 
"I do not now anticipate a cure, as I once con- 
fidently hoped, but if I am so far relieved as to be 
able to pursue my various duties with less suffering 
than I have for a long time done, L shall be truly 
thankful. * * We must, however, leave the 
future in the hands of Him who doeth all things 
well. May the fervent desire of my heart be for re- 
signation, and entire submission to the will of my 
heavenly Father! 

'Renew my will from day to day, 
Blend it with Thine, and take away 
All thaf now makes it hard to say, 

Thy will be done ! ' " 



LUCY BURLINGHAM. 79 

Her continued mental vigour and capacity of en- 
joyment is indicated in the following letter : — 



" Lynn, 2nd mo. 15th, 1845. 



To 



" I should very much like to see the article 
in the i Eclectic Review/ to which thou refers, and 
I hope I shall be able to get a sight of it sometime. 
I do, indeed, long I could read it with thee. It is 
so delightful 

' To read within another's eyes 
The raptures of our own.' 

Truly there is much of poetry — real, true poetry — 
that is never expressed in numbers. 1 have ever 
thought so. Does not the fair and beautiful world 
around us abound in poetry? The ever-glorious 
ocean, the roar of the majestic cataract, the sweet 
murmur of the gentle rivulet, the sighing of the 
wind in the trees, or the deep organ tones with which 
it sometimes rushes through the branches, the rich 
melody of birds, the i laughing flowers/ the bright 
blue firmament, the radiant sun, the glittering stars, 
and pale moonlight — in short, whatever is fair and 
lovely in creation, abounds in poetry ; and dull and 
insensible must be the heart that does not feel their 
charms. Sorrowful is the reflection that man, who 
is the crowning glory of the whole — who came from 
his Maker's hands pure and perfect, should have so 
grievously fallen, as to become the only discordant 
note in the midst of the universal harmony." 

In the summer of 1845, owing to increased ill- 



80 LUCY BURLINGHAM. 

ness, a change to Cheltenham was tried as a last re- 
source; at first she experienced a slight improve- 
ment; but afterwards her strength became so reduced 
that all hope of rallying fled. When informed of 
her danger ; she bore the intelligence with perfect 
composure, and she was permitted to realize the ful- 
filment of the promise, " Thou wilt keep him in per- 
fect peace whose mind is stayed on thee, because he 
trusteth in thee." With sweet resignation she 
waited her appointed time, feeling more for her 
friends than herself, desiring only that she might 
return to die at home, and thus mitigate the trial to 
her fondly attached mother. 

She was permitted to return, and contrary to all 
expectation, experienced a little increase of strength, 
and her medical attendant entertained hopes of par- 
tial recovery. How she viewed this prospect is best 
shown in her own words, written after she had heard 
the doctor's opinion. 

6th mo. 3rd, 1847. — "If I know my own heart, 
I think above all things, I do most crave for a resig- 
nation, perfect and entire, to whatever may be the 
will of my heavenly Father. In the prospect of a 
probable restoration to health, I have suffered inde- 
scribable anguish. There was a time when I sighed 
for health, but it was not granted ; then I was en- 
abled entirely to resign myself to the loss of it, to 
feel a willingness to quit this earthly scene, if such 
was the will of my heavenly Father, and great peace 
and comfort were my portion ; now I have to learn 



LUCY BURLINGHAM. 81 

the difficult lesson of entire submission to live a 
while longer, and I feel the struggle to be great; but 
surely I ought to yield up myself with confidence to 
his disposal, who has done so great things for me. I 
feel deeply convinced { that the path of duty remains 
to be the only safe one/ and that no true peace can 
be found but by walking in it." 

In the autumn of the same year we find the fol- 
lowing letter : 

" 9th mo. 1847. 

To , 

" Our ride this morning, I shall not soon 
forget : the sweet spirit of calm beauty which reigned 
around, the soft blue sky, the varied landscape 
clothed in the quiet garb of autumn not yet assuming 
her richly varied tints, the dear village of Wootton 
in the distance, nestling among the trees in the 
valley, and the water beyond — each and all of these 
penetrated my soul, and I felt a pensive luxury in 
sharing them for the last time with my treasured 
friend whose society has afforded me such pure and 
deep enjoyment. The interchange of thought and 
sentiment, the mingling of mind with mind, how 
sweet has it been ! how has it tended to strengthen 
that precious bond which has ever united us elosely 
together ! and dearest, if the influence I have 
exerted over thee, has been in the least wrongly 
directed, may I be forgiven ! may I more and more 
feel the transitory nature of every earthly pleasure, 
and not be taking up my rest in things below, which 



82 LUCY BURL INGHAM. 

I feel there is great danger in doing — so frail and 
erring are we by nature." 

In the 2nd month of 1848, she was again ex- 
tremely ill, and her sufferings were very great, at- 
tended with sleepless nights and wearisome days, 
and her mind was unusually depressed. She thus 
sweetly alludes to it, when a little recovered from its 
effects. 

3rd mo. 1st. — " The 23rd of 2nd month was a day 
of much mental anguish ; a severe attack of illness, 
and much acute suffering had exhausted my spirits ; 
but I can truly say nothing was to be compared with 
the depth of mental conflict through which I had to 
pass, so that hope seemed to have fled. A sense of 
utter unworthiness and destitution of all good, was 
the covering of my mind. I felt that mercies 
abounded ; that I had every outward want supplied ; 
but it was heavenly comfort I stood so greatly in 
need of ; at the same time I felt that it was good for 
me, and that it was for the trying of my faith ; that 
now was the time to trust even with the cloud be- 
tween. It was easy to do so when all was bright and 
fair. I was enabled to feel, t Though He slay me, 
yet will I trust in Him/ and in time the cloud was 
removed. 'When He giveth quietness, who then 
can make trouble V A dear and valued friend seeing 
me much cast down, after we had remained in silence 
some time, addressed a few words to me, which were 
indeed words of comfort." 

4th mo. 30th. — " I do not like the tone with which 



LUCY BURL INGHAM. *o 

many well-meaning people speak of this world, as 
being such a wretched place, that we must not look 
for happiness on this side the grave. Truly, I 
believe, that heaven may be, and is begun on earth, 
to the renewed and sanctified spirit ; and that there 
are moments of ineffable peace and joy granted to 
the watching, humble, and dependent followers of the 
Lamb, which are given as a foretaste of the joys of 
heaven. Such moments are indeed rare, temptations 
and trials will intervene to retard the aspiration of 
the spirit after better things. " 

7th mo. 16th. — " Alas ! how un watchful I have 
been of late; how much of self and evil are con- 
nected with my best deeds ! I fear I love some of 
my friends sinfully. May the consideration of these 
things sink deeply into my heart, I want -to learn 

' To sojourn in the world, and yet apart, 

To dwell with God, and yet with man to feel ; 
To bear about for ever in the heart 

The gladness which His Spirit doth reveal' " 

8th mo. 16th. — Alluding to a visit to some dear 
friends at Crimpiesham, she writes, — " How exquisite 
are the pleasures derivable from a love of nature ! 
How much is there to be enjoyed even in this world 
of change and death • and what is there even in 
change and death to distress the mind that is an- 
chored upon the unseen things which are eternal ? 
How earnestly should we endeavour to live a life of 
faith; remembering the great end for which we were 
created/' 



84 LUCY BURLINGHAM. 

At this time her strength was so much recruited, 
as to enable her to enjoy frequent walks and excur- 
sions into the country; the varied beauties of which 
afforded her intense enjoyment. She was also, after 
an interval of some years, permitted to meet again 
with her friends, for the solemn purpose of worship, 
ping God; and felt this to be a great privilege. Her 
friends, seeing her improved health, fondly looked 
forward to lengthened years; but it was ordered 
otherwise. On the loth of 9th month, she was 
seized with one of her usual attacks of illness, and 
passed three days and nights of severe suffering ; but 
no danger was apprehended until within three hours 
of her decease, when it suddenly became apparent 
that the hand of death was upon her. They were 
hours of intense agony; so as entirely to preclude all 
expression on the part of herself and friends. Her 
sun went down as it were in the whirlwind and the 
storm ; but how glorious its rising ! — one moment a 
suffering child of clay — the next, free from the 
shackles of mortality, a happy spirit, forming one of 
that innumerable company which stand before the 
throne of God, having washed their robes and made 
them white in the blood of the Lamb. 



ELIZABETH CKOSFIELD, 



OF 



LIVERPOOL. 



Elizabeth Crosfield was the wife of Joseph 
Crosfield. 

Our blessed Lord, in speaking of the various 
offices of the Comforter, the Spirit of Truth, whom 
He would send to his followers, " that he might 
abide with them for ever/' especially declared that, 
when he was come, He should " convince of sin," 
and "guide into all Truth;" and the life and expe- 
rience of the beloved individual, from whose own 
pen much of the following memorial is compiled, 
forcibly exhibit the practical application of this great 
truth, and precious promise of the Redeemer. 

She was the daughter of James and Deborah 
Backhouse, of York. At an early age she was 
deprived, by death, of her mother's care, and her 
father being engaged, for many years, in the ser- 
vice of the Gospel, in foreign lands, much of her 
early training devolved upon others. The follow- 
ing letter dated 1847, will best explain the circum- 
8 (85) 



86 ELIZABETH CROSFIELD. 

stances of her youth, and her early religions pro- 
gress. 

u From my very earliest years, I was favoured to 
feel the reproofs of the Holy Spirit for sin; and 
though I do not think I ever yielded to them en- 
tirely, yet I think my conscience was then tender, 
and I often longed to be good. My father took great 
pains to teach me the necessity of believing in the 
Saviour, and of attending to the convictions of the 
Holy Spirit; yet this was without much effect, and 
I was as careless as children generally are ; though I 
could repeat some Scripture passages, and answer 
questions about divine things as readily as most, and 
was often not a little pleased with myself, on that 
account. "When I went to school, (I was about nine 
years old,) I was very far from what I ought to have 
been, yet my actions were often misunderstood, and, 
having a very keen sense of what I called justice, I 
was often inclined to be very rebellious, and got into 
scrapes almost continually. During the period of 
my school life at York, which was about six years, I 
believe, though I still at seasons felt the love of my 
Heavenly Father in my heart, and observed some of 
the outward forms of religion, I was as far from God 
as it was almost possible to be. I should have been 
terrified at the idea of dying, and still I had super- 
stitions about the happiness of heaven, which I used 
sometimes to communicate to my schoolfellows. 
Notwithstanding this, I took no pleasure in anything 
good, and I had literally i no hope, and was without 



ELIZABETH CROSEIELD. 87 

God in the world/ I have often thought, that it 
was for my dear father's sake, who was then far away 
in foreign lands, that I was preserved from going 
greater lengths into sin. I was afraid to think of 
the state of my own heart, and therefore I sought 
happiness in all sorts of girlish folly /" 

After alluding to the decease of some of her near 
relatives, and particularly to that of her aunt, Eliza- 
beth Janson, which occurred when she was about fif- 
teen years old, and when she was at school at Newing- 
ton, she proceeds. 

" This was a little before the Yearly Meeting of 
1839, which I had the privilege of attending, and 
for a time, very earnest desires were raised in my 
heart, to become what the Lord would have me to 
be. It was the practice of some of the girls, to 
retire to their own rooms in the evening, for the pur- 
pose of reading the Bible; one of them often retired 
without a light, and this led me to believe that she 
went for the purpose of endeavouring to wait upon 
the Lord, and I myself commenced the practice of 
going occasionally for this object, a practice which I 
have continued to the present time, and which I have* 
found very good for me, though I have often gone, 
perhaps scores of times in succession, forgetful of 
what was my professed intention in so doing/* 

In the spring of 1841, my father returned from 
his long journey, and very soon after our family 
circle was again broken, by the death of my aunt, 
Abigail Backhouse. Her illness and death produced 



88 ELIZABETH CROSFIELD. 

a considerable effect upon me, and I now began to 
inquire earnestly, what must I do to be saved. I 
made great efforts to do what I thought was right, 
yet I was very ready to judge others, and after all, I 
often did very wrong myself, and my heart was not 
right with God; I was depending upon my own 
righteousness for salvation; nevertheless the Lord, 
who knew that, though often halting, I was sincere 
in my desire to love Him, was pleased, after I had 
gone on in this way for perhaps half a year, to reveal 
His love to me. It was one First-day evening, when 
we were reading the letters of Jonathan Hutchinson, 
and I was thinking how it would be possible to live 
a long life without falling away, that the words, 6 By 
trust in Jesus/ ran through my mind with such 
force, that I could doubt no longer; and I left the 
room as quickly as possible, to give vent to my feel- 
ings and to pour out my soul in thankfulness to God. 
The veil seemed rent from my eyes, and I saw that 
it was through Christ alone, that we can come to 
God, and inexpressible was the peace which I was 
permitted to enjoy. I felt a new life, every thing I 
did seemed to be done from new motives, and my 
whole soul seemed to repose on the love of God, in 
giving me such a Saviour: then I could say with 
Job, c I have heard of Thee by the hearing of the 
ear, but now mine eye seeth thee/ This happy state 
lasted but a short time, for I too soon turned away 
from the blessed light of Christ, and took pleasure 
again in other things/' 

" I sometimes still despaired of ever obtaining sal- 



ELIZABETH CROSFIELD, 89 

vation, but in time, I was permitted to believe that 
my past sins were blotted out. I felt that a * new 
and living way/ was indeed opened to me, whereby 
I might draw nigh to God, and therein I was greatly 
rejoiced. Still the adversary of all good was very 
busy, trying to divert me from the inward work, and 
to make me think a great deal about cleansing the 
outside, and making my actions appear fair before 
men. I thought that most professors of religion did 
not act up to what was required of them, and I at- 
tended to them, rather than to myself; but in His 
own good time, the Lord was pleased to show me my 
folly, and hitherto He has kept me from an entire 
forgetfulness of Him, though I have too often 
wandered out of the right path. He has given me 
to see more clearly, how entirely I am dependent 
upon His help, and how necessary it is for all to en- 
deavour to abide in Him ; and, that it is those who 
are led by the Spirit of God, who are, indeed, the 
sons of God. Notwithstanding all His great good- 
ness, I have too often acted in my own strength ; I 
have not rightly attended to the dictates of His Holy 
Spirit in my heart, but have followed the voice of 
the stranger, rather than that of the good Shepherd; 
and thus I feel that I have not made that progress 
in the heavenward journey that I ought to have 
done ; for true it is, that we cannot live to-day on the 
bread of yesterday. Such has been my carelessness 
and want of faithfulness, that I have often been 
ready to exclaim, < Surely I shall one day fall by the 
hand of Saul/ " 
8* 



90 ELIZABETH CROSFIELD. 

" WaDdering thoughts, and a want of prayerful 
dependence upon the Lord, a want of true silence 
before Him, and a lamentable forgetfulness to seek 
to know His will, have sadly marked my progress. 
Were it not that I have, now and then, been per- 
mitted to feel a little renewal of faith, that Christ 
died for my sins, and is able and willing to save, I do 
not know what would, by this time, have become of 
me; but I cannot look upon myself in any other 
light, than that of one who has known the Lord's 
will, but who has, times without number, neglected 
to do it/' 

The following are extracts from her private memo- 
randa : — 

11th mo. 21st, 1841. — " We are nothing, Christ 
is all. 0, the importance of knowing this really to 
be the case, and may I ever endeavour to seek to be 
made fully sensible of the great need we individually 
have of a Saviour ! For though it is easy to say to 
ourselves, that there is none other Name whereby we 
may be saved, it is not in our own strength that we 
are able to feel our absolute need of Him. And 
when we see how many wander far from Him, it be- 
hoves us to use all diligence, to make our calling and 
election sure, and to take heed that we do not deny 
Him before men, and so become gradually led away. 
May I be enabled continually to trust in Him, and 
in Him alone ; aod may I seek continually the for- 
giveness of my sins, for His sake." 

11th mo. 28th. 1841. — " We none of us know 



ELIZABETH CROSFIELD. 91 

how short a time we have to live ; or even if life is 
granted, we may be deprived of our senses; what 
need have we then to be continually on the watch, 
endeavouring to know and also to do the Lord's will ! 

for more ability to seek Him aright, for more de- 
votedness of heart, more singleness of eye to Him ! 

1 trust I have, during the past year, made a few 
steps towards heaven ; but 0, how very many have 
been my lookings back, and even my rebellions. 
Might not I long since have been cut down as a cum- 
berer of the ground, or as a tree bearing no fruit, except 
of a poisonous nature ? Yet the Almighty has still 
been pleased at times to visit me, and though very 
far from what I ought to be, I may acknowledge that 
I am not without a hope that He who can do every- 
thing will be pleased, for Jesus' sake, to take away 
the stony heart." 

1st mo. 6th, 1842. — " Think not to say within 
yourselves, i We have Abraham to our father/ What 
necessity we have to bear this in mind ! For assu- 
redly, i no man can save his brother, or give to God 
a ransom for his soul/ and whilst we have so many 
sad examples of the children of good Friends leaving 
our Society, may I ever bear in mind the necessity 
of daily, yea, oftener than the day, waiting upon the 
Lord, and praying unto Him to enable me to watch 
continually ; for the enemy is very subtle, and with- 
out the help of the Spirit of that Saviour, in whonm 
is our only hope, we are sure to be overcome. May 
I never be building on the past, or on any good 
works of my own; for what may appear the best are 



92 ELIZABETH CROSFIELD. 

often very impure in the Divine sight. I think I am 
more than ever persuaded that the kingdom of God 
is within, and coosisteth not in meats and drinks, 
and divers washings, and that no worship is accept- 
able in the sight of the Almighty, but what is per- 
formed in spirit and in truth." 

"I think I can truly say, that I desire above all 
things to strive to know, and to do the will of God ; 
but alas, how often does the weak flesh fail ! I think 
I may say, that the comfortable feeling, (if not peace 
of mind,) that I am sometimes favoured to expe- 
rience, would of itself be an ample reward for any 
little sacrifice which I have ever made, or any act of 
obedience which I have been enabled to perform; 
for I do feel, that the Lord is good to all them that 
even desire to fear Him, and to hope in His mercy ; 
and may I be stirred up to still greater diligence in 
the pursuit of heavenly things, and to still greater 
watchfulness in regard to things which may appear 
trifling." 

5th mo. 6th, 1842. - — u 0, that none of my pur- 
suits, lawful in themselves, may have an unlawful 
place in my heart ! For how easy it is for things of 
a scientific character to take up so large a share of 
our thoughts, as in some measure, to make us turn 
to them, instead of to the Lord, and to find them in- 
truding into our thoughts, at times when we wish 
especially to wait upon Him ; and how inadequate 
we are, of ourselves, to suppress them ! Lord, be 
pleased to enable me clearly to see how far it is law- 
ful to go in these things, and having seen, enable me 



ELIZABETH CROSFIELD. 93 

to perform Thy holy will ; that so none of these things 
may separate me from abiding in Thy love ! I feel 
that I am very weak, and 0, be pleased to make me 
feel yet more so, and that, through abiding in Christ 
Jesus alone, strength is to be found." 

11th mo. 14th, 1842/— "Self-love and self grati- 
fication are the ruling principles of nearly all my 
actions ! Surely there never was so selfish a being 
as myself! I want self to be entirely annihilated, 
that the glory of God and love of Jesus may be the 
ruling principles of my heart. I fear even this desire 
is influenced by self-love j but I do indeed wish, from 
the bottom of my heart, that I may know Christ to 
be all, and in all. Lord, be pleased to disclose to 
me more fully, my entire depravity, and how much 
self influences even what seem to be my best actions ! 
0, be pleased to humble me ! Empty my heart en- 
tirely, and make it a temple fit for Thee to dwell in. 
Enable me to attend very closely to the pointings of 
thy Holy Spirit, and continually to look unto Jesus, 
as the only Mediator and Atonement for my manifold 
transgressions." 

6th mo. 13th, 1843. — " Under a little renewed 
sense of the goodness and mercy of Him who has 
said, i Ask and ye shall receive, seek and ye shall 
find/ I would desire to ask, for Jesus' sake alone, for 
ability to worship thee, Lord, in spirit and in 
truth; to be enabled to draw nigh unto thee; and 
also, to ask for the blessing of a meek and quiet 
spirit. Thou, who alone canst say, ' peace be still/ 
so as to cause a great calm, be pleased to give me a 



94 ELIZABETH CROSEIELD. 

little patience in waiting upon Thee, and to know a 
little of the silence of all flesh before Thee. 0, be 
pleased, for my Saviour's sake, purely to purge away 
the dross, and to take away all the reprobate silver ! " 

12th mo. 10th, 1843. — "The enemy has various 
snares by which he seeks to entrap us. I believe 
one that I am in great danger of falling into and do 
often fall into, is that of giving my judgment rashly, 
and consequently over-stepping the mark, in con- 
demning things which may be wrong to a certain 
extent. How contrary to the humble, lowly spirit 
of Jesus ! 0, that he would be pleased to moderate 
my impetuous temper, to make me continually sen- 
sible of my own weakness in thus setting up my 
judgment, without seeking counsel of Him ! I want 
to be humbled, and to look continually to Christ, in- 
stead of leaning on the briars and thorns of my natu- 
ral understanding : may every plant that my Heavenly 
Father has not planted, be indeed rooted up." 

2nd mo. 7th, 1844. — " 0, for more of a fervent 
desire that Christ might be l all in all/ that I might 
indeed love the Lord, with all my heart, and souf, 
and strength, and know him to be truly my God, and 
that I have none in heaven but Him, and none upon 
earth that I desire in comparison of Him ! Be 
pleased, Lord, to stain all the things of this world 
in my view; and, 0, enable me to seek after and 
attend to the convictions of the Holy Spirit. Thou, 
Lord, alone knowest the depth of my sin, for how 
often have I rebelled against Thee. Thou alone canst 



ELIZABETH CROSFIELD. 95 

enable me truly to repent and turn to Thee; be 
pleased to do this, for Jesus' sake." 

12th mo. 9th, 1844. — " It is now about three 
years since I first knew Christ to be precious to me. 
What advancement have I made, since that time, in 
the Christian course ? and what advancement might 
I not have made had I but kept my eye single unto 
my heavenly leader ? How often have I turned aside 
from Him, and served other gods ; yet in His wonder- 
ful condescension, He has been pleased, again and 
again, to visit me : ah, how long shall I halt as be- 
tween two opinions? Why, seeing I believe the 
Lord to be God, do I not follow Him ? Often I fear, 
because I seek to do, in my own strength, what I can 
only do in His strength, which is made perfect in 
weakness, and not when we think we are able to do 
what is right by ourselves. I had almost forgotten 
that true worship can only be performed in spirit and 
in truth, until something in conversation last evening 
directed my attention to it. Though I have some- 
times thought I prayed for the help of the Holy 
Spirit, yet how have I neglected to wait for it, — to 
wait upon God for His help ; have I not then been 
kindling to myself a fire, and compassing myself 
about with sparks of my own kindling ! Be pleased, 

Lord, to enable me henceforth to serve Thee with 
full purpose of heart, and to look continually to Jesus 
for help to do so." 

12th mo. 31st, 1844. — " This is the last day of 
the year, and I do not know that I may live another. 

1 do not think that I yet bear the fruits of being a 



96 ELIZABETH CROSFIELD 

new creature in Christ. I do not act just in the same 
manner at all times, without reference to the persons 
I am with ; too often, I fear, what appear my best 
actions are performed in order that I may have the 
praise of men ; yet, at times, I do feel that Christ is 
precious, and did I but seek for help to abide more 
in Him, I believe this would oftener be my happy 
experience. Truly, the Lord is round about us, when 
we put our whole trust in him ; no good thing does 
he withhold ; but, alas ! how is it that I so often 
descend from the watch-tower, and seem to forget 
that without Christ I can do nothing ! " 

8th mo. 17th, 1845. — " It is now nearly two weeks 
since I attained the age of twenty-two years. I am 
almost afraid that I have been living, lately, in a 
state of forgetfulness of God ; at least, in a state of 
forgetfulness of how entirely dependent it behoves us 
to be ; if we would be led by the Spirit of God. 
When shall I learn, practically, that without Christ 
I can do nothing? that I may, from this time 
forth, seek constantly to be endued with his Spirit, 
and for his help to overcome my fault-finding and 
differing disposition : — 

' give me the heart that would wait and be still, 
Nor know of a wish nor a pleasure but Thine.' 

I do not think that I have made many steps in the 
right way since this time last year; and then, how 
awful is the thought, that I must have been going 
back ! I fear I love this world more than Jesus. " 

12th mo. 19th, 1845. — " During the past few 
weeks I have frequently felt the goodness of the 



ELIZABETH CROSFIELD. 97 

Lord; and I believe I may say, that I have felt 
greater thankfulness for the blessings I enjoy, than 
has often before been the case ; but I still have great 
need to watch over a hasty, fault-finding, and discon- 
tented disposition, which leads me to speak to, and 
of others, in a manner which is quite contrary to the 
meek and lowly Spirit of Christ. I have also still to 
lament that I know but little of that entire prostra- 
tration of soul before the Lord, in which Christ is 
felt to be our all. I have a very active mind, and it 
seems peculiarly difficult for me to attain to a state of 
mental stillness ; yet I believe this is attainable, and, 
may I earnestly seek after it ! " 

1st mo. 15th, 1846. — " Truly the Lord is very 
good ; he hears and answers prayer, however feebly 
offered. He has lately permitted me, at times, to 
feel a little of that silence of all flesh before Him, in 
which the soul holds communion with Him, and feels 
that all good comes from Him alone ; but 1 want to 
know far more of a steadfast abiding in Christ, in 
which alone I believe we can be safe from the attacks 
of the enemy. I have naturally a very strong will, 
and far too high an opinion of myself, and of my 
own judgment and discretion. I want to know my 
own will brought down, that I may know no will but 
Christ's, and that self may become of no reputation. 
Divine grace alone can work this change, and will 
assuredly work it, if I, on my part, do not resist its 
operations. Enable me, Lord, to close in with the 
working of thy Spirit in my heart ; and, for Christ's 
9 



98 ELIZABETH CROSFIELD. 

sake, help me to give up my own will, and to abide 
in Thee far more than I have yet done." 

4th mo. 3rd, 1846. — "I have lately felt desirous 
of recording how good the Lord has been to me. 
Surely if I were but more willing to follow his gui- 
dance, I should have abundant cause to magnify His 
name. Though I sadly too often neglect to seek his 
help, I can truly say, that whenever I have sought 
it, I have found it to be near; and often I have had 
great cause to rejoice in His mercy, and to be glad 
in his salvation. Yet, at times, a fear attends me 
lest I should not be allowing all my deeds to come to 
the light ; and that I may keep nothing back, but 
that I may indeed know the Lord to search me ! I 
want to be made quick of understanding in His holy 
fear, and to be much more afraid of offending Him; 
and 0, that He would enable me to know that ' the 
words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart/ 
are acceptable in His holy sight ; for I fear this is 
far from being the case, and while it is so, it is an 
evidence that my heart is not right. I must know 
far more of abiding in Christ, before' anything like 
Christian perfection is attained ; nevertheless, I some- 
times have a little hope which is indeed as an anchor 
to my soul." 

6th mo. 21st, 1846. — " It is a privilege to have a 
quiet home, and kind friends, who are ever desirous 
for my best welfare ; and it is a privilege, too, which 
I am very apt to forget, that there is a quiet home 
within, where I may be still. How strange, that 
notwithstanding I have felt the preciousness of the 



ELIZABETH CROSFIELD. 99 

blood of Christ to my soul, and have at times known 
something of the i communion of the Holy Ghost/ 
my mind is still so taken up with the pleasures of the 
world, and I so often descend from the watch-tower, 
and allow earthly love to take the place of love to 
Christ, and of thankfulness to Him who has done so 
much for me. May I be quickened in the fear of 
the Lord, which is as a fountain of life to preserve 
from the snares of death. " 

8th mo. 2nd, 1846. — "I have had a cough for a 
month past, and feeling poorly a few evenings since, 
I was led to think that perhaps I should not live 
long, in which consideration I felt that my will was 
not resigned, and that I should not like to leave all 
the pleasant things of this world. I was grieved to 
find how much the thought of death pained me, for 
it showed me that I still loved the world more than 
God; whereas I had sometimes comforted myself 
with the hope that, if my life were called for, I 
should be enabled to trust in Christ, and through 
Him to find an entrance into heaven. But it will 
not do to be thinking what we may be enabled to do ; 
we must realize this blessed trust at the present time, 
if we hope to realize it at the day of death. My 
little indisposition has shown me how incapable the 
mind often is of seriously considering these things 
when the body is out of health ; what need there is 
for me to give diligent heed to the things which I 
have heard and believed, lest I should let them slip ; 
and, may I seek to know, day by day, that I have 
such an interest in Christ, as that I need fear no evil." 



100 ELIZABETH CROSFIELD 

8th mo. 4th, 1846. — "My twenty-third birthday. 
What a strange life I have led for the last five years ! 
I have been acknowledging that Christ has an un- 
doubted right to rule and reign in my heart, and yet 
I feel that his kingdom is not yet established there. 
Sometimes he has, I trust, been set up as King, but 
how often has the government been usurped by ene- 
mies who have said, i We will not have this man to 
reign over us/ and whose servants have so filled the 
house, that there has been no room for the Prince of 
Peace ! Yet, truly, the compassion of the Lord has 
been wonderful towards me, whenever I have turned 
to seek Him ; He has so often stretched forth the 
crook of His love, to gather me into the fold, when 
my rebellious heart was wounded by the roaring lion 
that walketh about seeking whom he may devour, 
that there seems cause for me still to hope in His 
mercy — still to seek to abide in the true sheep-fold, 
in which there is but one Shepherd. Oh! that after 
all this wondrous love — this being followed even as 
into the wilderness and plucked out of the pit, I may 
indeed seek to have the sign of one of the true Shep- 
herd's sheep, who know His voice, and follow Him, 
and who will not follow a stranger." 

11th mo. 28th, 1846. — "I have lately been in a 
scene of much bustle and excitement, and have too 
often allowed my mind to be cumbered with the 
cares, and perplexities, and pleasures of this life. 
that these may not be permitted entirely to choke the 
seed which the Good Husbandman has, I trust, sown 
in my heart ! Surely I have great cause to praise 



ELIZABETH CROSFIELD. 101 

Him for all His mercies, and for the marvellous man- 
ner in which He has condescended to regard my 
weaknesses." 

8th mo. 8th, 1847. — "In reviewing the events of 
the past year, I am led to fear that I have made but 
little, if any, progress in the way to the kingdom. 
I have talked and written a great deal about the ne- 
cessity of journeying thither, but have I myself been 
walking in the narrow way ? Alas ! I fear I have 
too often been sleeping, or losing strength, by enter- 
taining in my heart many guests which had no busi- 
ness there. I greatly need to be made more sensible 
of my sinful condition, and of my entire inability to 
help myself; I have not that lively love to my Sa- 
viour which I ought to have ; and though at seasons 
during the past year I have 'been favoured to feel His 
Divine overshadowings, yet I nave known little or 
nothing of that abiding in Him wherein I should be 
kept from evil." 

On the 18th of 8th mo., 1847, Elizabeth Back- 
house was united in marriage to Joseph Crosfield, of 
Liverpool. In the prospect of this union, earnest 
were her desires for right direction, and very deeply 
did she feel the responsibilities which attached to her 
new position. Her home was a very happy one, and 
her serious deportment evinced that the work of grace 
was going forward ; yet again and again, in her diary, 
we find her mourning over her own earthly-minded- 
ness ) and as the light of Christ shone with increas- 
ing clearness in the secret recesses of her soul, so the 
hidden things of darkness were made manifest ; and 
9* 



102 ELIZABETH CROSFIELD. 

whilst thirsting after holiness, and an entire conform- 
ity to her Heavenly Father's will, she felt that in 
His free mercy, through Christ alone, was her only 
hope of salvation. In her memoranda, dated 5th 
mo. 7th, 1848, she remarks : — 

" I doubt if I feel sufficiently sensible of the un- 
certainty of life, or rather whether I feel sufficiently 
alive to the great importance of being entirely ready, 
should it please the Great Disposer of events to take 
away my life. I know that life is always uncertain, 
and that we know not the hour in which we may be 
called to stand before the judgment-seat. I enjoy 
many blessings, and I sometimes think that my en- 
joyment of earthly things is so great, that it cannot 
last long. I cannot speak of much, if any, progress 
of late; my thoughts are much occupied with pre- 
sent and expected pleasures ; I sometimes want to be 
made entirely the Lord's, and I sometimes feel desi- 
rous to be enabled to leave the future entirely to Him, 
knowing that He will do with and for me as He sees 
best." 

10th mo. 27th, 1848. — " Many months have now 
elapsed since I wrote anything in this book, and now 
I feel that I have been making an idol of my pre- 
cious child; I have known much of the loving-kind- 
ness of the Lord, but very little of thankfulness and 
obedience to Him. I sometimes wish to be stirred 
up, and I ought to be very thankful that I am still, 
at times, permitted to feel uneasy about my state." 

12th mo. 31st, 1849. — "On the 3rd of Eighth 
9 



ELIZABETH CROSFIELD. 103 

month, a second dear little boy was given to us. At 
the time of his birth I felt very ill, and thought my 
recovery very uncertain; but I seemed to turn away 
from the thoughts of death with a sort of dread, 
which evinced that I was not ready to meet it with- 
out fear; no, truly, for I live too much to myself, 
and am mostly very lukewarm. I feel that love to 
the Saviour has grown cold, whilst love to the dear 
babes whom God has been pleased to give us has 
abounded. To my shame be it written, for surely 
these things ought not so to be. 0, if I am per- 
mitted to live another year, may it be more to the 
glory of God ! " 

From this period, Elizabeth Crosfield's private 
memoranda appear to have ceased ; but whilst there 
might be less of expression, it was evident to her 
friends that the work of sanctification was going for- 
ward in her heart, and that her spiritual experience 
was deepening, while her attachment to the prin- 
ciples of the Society of Friends, and the interest 
which she felt in its discipline, continued unabated. 
Many of her friends ventured to cherish a hope that 
she was in a course of preparation for further useful- 
ness; but He who alone knoweth what is best, saw 
meet that it should be otherwise. 

On the 20th of Fourth month, 1852, six days after 
the birth of her fourth child, feelings of uneasiness 
were aroused in the minds of her friends, from her 
extreme weakness; and the following morning it was 
thought best to call in additional medical advice. 



104 ELIZABETH CROSFIELD, 

After the doctors had been, she expressed a wish to 
be informed if they thought her in danger. On 
being told that they thought her case critical, but by 
no means hopeless, she remarked upon the desirable- 
ness of always being ready, and expressed some fear 
whether this was her own case. On her aunt re- 
minding: her that we have nothing to trust to but the 
mercy of God in Christ Jesus, she immediately re- 
plied, " As to the true foundation of hope, I have 
long had no doubt of that; but then thou knowest 
there ought to be a going forward ; the watch has not- 
been always maintained. " On allusion being made 
to the many weaknesses of the flesh, she spoke of 
the difficulty she at times felt in restraining her mind 
from wandering, and planning what was to be done 
in her house and family. On being reminded, that 
though Martha was cumbered with much serving, it 
was said that Jesus loved Martha; she looked very 
animated, and said this had often been a source of 
great comfort to her. After awhile, again speaking 
of her critical state, she said, " I have been thinking 
of the words, c This sickness is not unto death, but 
unto the glory of God/ and if this should be the 
case with me, and my life should be spared a little 
longer, I desire that I may live more to the glory of 
God." 

Her quiet calmness was very striking, no anxious 
expression, but evidently a deep searching of heart, 
as to the grounds of her hope of salvation. 

About five o'clock, calling her husband, she spoks 



ELIZABETH CROSFIELD. 105 

seriously of the probability of a change taking place, 
saying, " My dear, in a short time my little children 
will be deprived of a mother's care ; but I feel that 
there is One who can take far more care of them 
than ever I could do." After a pause she continued, 
" I do not mean that I feel certain that I am going 
to die, but I am growing weaker, and it seems as 
though there could be but one termination." Her 
exhaustion at this time was so great that it was only 
at intervals that her remarks could be fully under- 
stood. She continued, — " I do not yet feel that full 
assurance of acceptance that I should wish." Her 
husband encouraged her to hope that, through infi- 
nite mercy, this would be permitted before the time 
of her departure came. She then proceeded, "I 
hope, my dear, thou wilt endeavour to train up our 
little ones in the love of the Lord; teach them to 
follow the guidance of the Holy Spirit, and when 
they feel anything within them correcting them for 
sin, that it is the Holy Spirit. Be sure to bring 
them up in the use of the plain language, and set 
them the example of this." She spoke of some of 
the views of Friends, as to what many termed " little 
things," but said, that in her mind, they were of 
much importance, and did not deserve the appella- 
tion of u little things." When the medical men 
came, they expressed their opinion that the case had 
become much more decidedly unfavourable ; she in- 
quired what they thought, and received this opinion 
as she had done before, with perfect composure. Her 



106 ELIZABETH CROSFIELD. 

father arrived soon after nine o'clock; upon his going 
to her bed-side, she said, " It is a comfort to me to 
see thee again once more in this world. I have no- 
thing triumphant to boast of, but am favoured to feel 
quiet and peaceful." After a time of solemn silence, 
she said to her father, " Father, if thou thinkest that 
I am building up where I ought to be pulling down, 
I hope thou wilt tell me." Her father replied, that 
he believed she was resting on the only right foun- 
dation ; she remarked that she had long known the 
way to the kingdom, but had not walked in it with 
sufficient diligence, but that she believed her Saviour 
had condescended to take all her sins upon himself, 
and she was permitted to feel quietly peaceful in this 
belief. She said, u It seems difficult to me to realize 
the idea that I shall so soon enter into a state of eter- 
nal rest, there to join the innumerable company in 
singing the song of Moses." 

After a time, she said that her prospect did not 
seem quite so clear; but on its being remarked, that 
she was now passing through the valley of the shadow 
of death, particular stress being laid- upon the word 
shadow, she immediately caught the idea, and added, 
" Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me." From 
this time, the shadow which seemed to have been 
permitted to cross her path vanished, and soon 
afterwards she said, "I now feel a degree of assu- 
rance, I cannot say triumph, but I am satisfied." 
At another time, she said, " How marvellous it seems 
that, at so early an age, I should be freed from all 



ELIZABETH CROSFIELD. 107 

the cares and anxieties of this world, and permitted 
to enter a mansion prepared for me in eternity !" 
About midnight, she expressed a wish to see her two 
eldest children • deeply touching was the scene when 
they were, first one and then the other, brought from 
their beds ; their rosy cheeks forming a striking con- 
trast with the paleness of their precious mother, 
whose face, however, beamed with affection, as they 
were brought to receive her last kiss. Rousing all 
her remaining strength, she told them that they 
would never see their dear mamma again, that God 
was going to take her to heaven, to dwell for ever 
with Jesus ; and desiring them to be good boys, and 
kind to their dear papa and brothers and sisters, with 
tenderest affection, but with perfect calmness, she 
kissed them, and took a final leave of these precious 
treasures. 

She now seemed to have done with the things of 
time, and soon afterwards said, "I may adopt the 
language, ( Death is swallowed up in victory/ — I wish 
you all to join with me in praise. " 

As the night wore away, and the morning began 
to dawn, apprehending her end near, she held out 
her hand to each of those who surrounded her bed 
to take a final leave; and almost the last sentence 
that could be collected was, " I wish you all to know, 
that I feel a full assurance that, through unmerited 
mercy, my name is written in the book of life of the 
Lamb that was slain from the foundation of the 
world." 



108 ELIZABETH CROSFIELD. 

For a short period, she lay breathing with diffi- 
culty, until a few minutes past five in the morning, 
when the spirit was released, we reverently believe, 
to be for ever with the Lord. Sweet was the feeling 
at that solemn moment, and the tribute of thanks- 
giving and praise arose to Him who had thus mar- 
vellously shown his power, and, through his infinite 
mercy, had taken this beloved one to a mansion of 
everlasting rest. 

She died on the 22nd of 4th month, 1852, aged 
28 years. 



BENJAMIN MIDDLETON FOX. 



OF 



TOTTENHAM 



Benjamin Middleton Fox was the son of 
Samuel and Maria Fox, and was born at Wellington, 
in the 2nd mo. 1828. 

In recording the early decease of this interesting 
and hopeful young friend, we are instructively re- 
minded of the christian character and devotedness 
of his excellent mother, of whom he was deprived at 
the age of sixteen. Her maternal solicitude and fer- 
vent prayers, on behalf of her beloved children, met 
with a grateful return from the tender and suscep- 
tible heart of dear Middleton. He keenly felt her 
loss, and, at subsequent periods of his life, we find 
him cherishing her memory with fond affection, and 
giving comforting evidence, that the religious care 
of his parents was not unattended with the divine 
blessius;. 

Contemporaneously with the more full develop- 
ment of the intellectual faculties, and the unfoldings 
of religious experience, it was deeply instructive to 
10 (109) 



no 



BENJAMIN MIDDLETON FOX. 



observe the progress of the Christian graces in his 
conduct and practice. 

As he advanced towards early manhood, Middle- 
ton had become peculiarly guarded in the language 
he made use of, when conversing on ordinary topics, 
as well as on subjects of the highest moment; and 
the truthfulness for which he was conspicuous, both 
in word and action, was no longer invaded by extra- 
vagance of expression. That singular refinement of 
taste, which formed so prominent a feature in his 
character, and which at one time appeared in danger 
of interfering with the self-denying requirements of 
the Gospel, when brought under the regulating in- 
fluence of religion, served but to add to the attrac- 
tiveness and beauty of his now chastened mind. 

He was a diligent reader of the Holy Scriptures, 
which he studied with deep and reverent attention ; 
and as he was exercised to prove all things, and to 
hold fast that which is good, he became increasingly 
satisfied with those religious principles in which he 
had been educated ; whilst in the progressive work 
of Divine grace, the difficulties, and perplexities 
which, at one period, assailed his mind, were ex- 
changed for a simple confiding faith; a faith, which, 
as he approached the confines of the invisible world, 
sustained his mind, in that heavenly composure, that 
fulness of peace, which were the portion of this 
youthful Christian, amid the weakness and the weari- 
ness of the mortal tabernacle. 

In proportion as his mind became imbued with the 
supreme importance of heavenly things, did it ex- 



BENJAMIN MIDDLETON FOX. Ill 

pand in interest for the welfare of others; and whilst 
residing a while in Italy, for the purpose of health, 
amongst a Roman Catholic population, he was anxious, 
notwithstanding his feeble state, to contribute his 
mite towards the diffusion of Gospel light, by the 
distribution of Testaments and tracts. But it was 
especially towards his much loved brothers, and many 
dear relatives, that his mind turned with Christian 
interest and affectionate solicitude, desiring that they, 
as well as himself, might partake of the fulness of 
the blessing of the Gospel of Christ. 

The following letters to one of his school com- 
panions, to whom he was much attached, and who 
was called, before himself, to mingle with the com- 
pany of the redeemed in heaven, will show the bent 
of his mind at that early period. One of them 
appears to have been written whilst at school, when 
about sixteen. The other after he left it, near the 
age of seventeen. 

To Joseph Gillett, Jun. 

" My dear Joseph, — Seeing that our lot 
has been cast for some time in the same family, and 
that we have been connected together more closely 
than has often been the case with many of the mem- 
bers of it; and having felt of late a desire, and I 
trust, in some small degree^ a longing that thou may- 
est become one of those who do l hunger and thirst 
after righteousness/ I have been induced to express 
towards thee something of my sense thereof. 

" k Faith is the substance of things hoped for, and 



112 BENJAMIN MIDDLETON FOX. 

the evidence of things not seen/ is an apostolic de- 
claration, well worthy of our attention, as it may lead 
us to a consideration of the divine attributes, of our 
own state by nature, of the eternal consequences of 
sin, aod of the glory that shall hereafter follow to 
those who have, through faith in the Lord Jesus 
Christ, known their sins to be washed away in his 
blood, and become < inheritors of the promises/ 0, 
may we each be stimulated to persevere in the race 
set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and the 
finisher of our faith, and we shall assuredly know 
the Lord to r be on our side, so that we shall not be 
moved • remembering the words of the Psalmist, 
The Lord is a sun and shield, he will give grace and 
glory, no good thing will he withhold from them that 
trust in him. Hoping that we may both experience 
the Divine grace in our hearts, and be permitted to 
meet each other in the realms of glory, when time to 
us here shall be no longer, 
I remain, 

Thy sincerely attached friend, 
- B. M. Fox. 
" i Be thou faithful unto death and I will give thee 
a crown of life.'" 

Tottenham Green, 1st mo. 30th, 1845. 
" My dear Joseph : — I enclose now a little book, 
which I hope thou wilt accept from me. It is en- 
titled, ' Sacred Harp of American Poetry/ I hope 
there are some pieces in it which thou may'st like, I 
noticed one at p. 145, i The Land of the Blessed f I 



BENJAMIN MIDDLETON FOX. 113 

think that my feelings have, on one occasion at least, 
coincided with what is there described, particularly 
in the two last verses. Thou niay'st remember my 
telling thee, in one letter which I wrote a few months 
since, of my sitting on the top of the cliffs, near 
Torquay, one evening, a little before sunset, when 
feelings of a most sweet and affecting nature came 
over me, in contemplating the wide-spread ocean 
before me, and the chalk cliffs extending as far as 
Portland, with the beautiful tints of the sky. My 
thoughts were led,^ilmost involuntarily, to that future 
scene of existence, which we are taught to believe is 
to be our lot, when we have quitted this stage of 
mortality, even that happy country, into which we 
humbly trust the spirits of those who have endea- 
voured to serve their Lord and Master here on earth 
have entered, and in which I earnestly desired that 
I might at some period not far distant, be permitted 
to enjoy eternal communion with the spirit of that 
loved one, who is now an inhabitant of the courts 
above. 

" 0, my dear friend ! may we be enabled so to 
seek for pardon and remission of sins, so to put our 
trust in Christ, our Saviour, and to seek for his inter- 
cession with the Father, that though we see him not 
yet, believing, we may ' rejoice with joy unspeakable, 
and full of glory, obtaining the end of our faith, even 
the salvation of our souls/ 

" I hope to return to Wellington to-morrow morn- 
ing. Mingled, doubtless, will be the feelings with 
which I return to my present home, a place where I 
10* 



114 BENJAMIN MIDDLETON FOX. 

have been favoured with some refreshments from the 
table of the Lord, and where, at other times, I have 
been constrained to say, even with weeping, ^ord/ 
I am oppressed, undertake for me/ Jly mind is 
indeed often cast down, through a sense of my many 
transgressions, and I may almost say, events below 
hope; but I do indeed trust, that I may be per- 
mitted still to know His presence to go with me, who 
went with the three children formerly through the 

furnace of Nebuchadnezzar. For, my dear , if 

the Lord be with us, what can harm us ? ' Though 
war shall rise against me, I will not fear. Though 
an host shall encamp against me, in this will I be 
confident/ I must now say farewell; and hoping, 
we may both be favoured to find c Him, of whom 
Moses in the law and the prophets did write, Jesus 
of Nazareth, the son of Joseph/ to be our strength, 
our song, and, finally, our great salvation, 

I remain thy affectionate friend, 

B. M. Fox." 

The state of dear Middleton's health becoming 
more and more precarious, the winter of 1850-51 
was passed at Torquay; and in the succeeding 
autumn, a journey on the continent was undertaken, 
— not so much by the advice of his medical friends, 
as to gratify the cravings, caused by his physical 
state, for the cloudless skies and sunshine of the 
south. 

He left Tottenham the 28th of Tenth month, ac- 
companied by his two faithful cousins, L. and R. 



BENJAMIN MIDDLETON FOX. 115 

Tregelles, from whose journal the following particu- 
lars are extracted. 

"We reached Hyeres on the 6th of Eleventh 
month. It is delightful to see. how dear M. has re- 
vived, under the influence of rest and sunshine. He 
has been able to walk out to see the Palms and the 
Cacti, and was interested, too, in the distribution of 
tracts, which, in most instances, were thankfully 
received. 

" On the 10th, we left for Nice. Here, after a 
few days, dear M. seemed drooping, and we thought 
it best to see Dr. Travis, before we arranged our 
plans for the future. Dr. T. was surprised and 
touched by dear M., telling him that he expected no 
improvement in his health, but only looked to a more 
genial clime than our own, as a possible means of 
retarding the progress of disease. He sanctioned 
our settling at Cimiers for a month, where we went 
on the 19th. 

11 On the 7th of Twelfth month, after appearing 
more than usually exhausted, a short cough was fol- 
lowed by expectoration of blood. M. observed, with 
perfect composure, but with deep seriousness, ' This 
is something rather more definite/ In the afternoon 
the dear invalid remarked, i that although we had not 
had our little meeting at the usual hour, we need not 
forego it/ and accordingly at three o'clock we sat 
down together, and I think we all felt it to be a time 
of refreshment, and of renewed filial trust and con- 
fidence." 



116 BENJAMIN MIDDLETON FOX. 

Villa France, 1st mo. 8th, 1852.— " The weather 
warm and beautifully bright, M. refreshed by a boat- 
ing on the Mediterranean, and for a few days he was 
so nicely, that he ventured to walk in that interesting 
neighbourhood more than he had done for a consider- 
able time, always taking with him tracts or little 
books for distribution. 

" After being more poorly for a few days, he was 
so recruited as to be able to walk in the garden. I 
remarked to him, that I thought he was gathering up 
a little strength for the projected voyage, and hoped 
that this would be refreshing to him. He said, i per- 
haps it might be so, but he was ready to think that 
the whole frame was succumbing to disease/ I could 
not controvert this. 

u Under grateful feelings for the kindness we had 
experienced, and for the leadings and care of a gra- 
cious Providence, we left Villa France, and embarked 
for Genoa, on the evening of the 26th. Here we 
met some of our relatives from England, and we all 
embarked for Leghorn on the 30th. We had a fine 
passage ; but an accumulation of little fatigues, with 
the coldness of the weather, affected our dear invalid 
greatly, and we had a few days of anxious nursing. 
He so far rallied, that on the 7th of Second month, 
we went on to Pisa, a change, which, for a few days, 
he greatly enjoyed ■ and on the 13th, we proceeded 
to Florence." 

A short memorandum, feebly penned about this 
period, instructively indicates the state of his mind. 



BENJAMIN MIDDLETON FOX. 117 

" The day before yesterday being the anniversary 
of my twenty-fourth birthday, could not but bring 
with it a recollection of the merciful way by which 
I have been led during the past year. Great indeed 
have been the favours poured upon me, but how 
little the evidence of their appreciation ! How in- 
significant the returns ! A large portion of outward 
enjoyment has been permitted, since this time last 
year. My five months' tarriance at Falmouth afforded 
much interest and many pleasures ; while my studies, 
as at Torquay, formed not a small part of them, and 
the facilities for getting on the water seemed very 
beneficial to my health. My stay on Blackdown was 
a choice season, which the delicious air and situation, 
and increased power of outward enjoyment, combined 
with social pleasures, cause to remain as a bright 
spot in my recollections of the past. As to our 
journeyings and situation this winter, I have had 
much to enjoy in different ways, although I have 
become so much more of the invalid, as to render the 
ordinary pleasures and interests of Italy, both as to 
nature and art, a good deal beyond my power; but 
greatly indeed have I been favoured in having been 
permitted to experience something of a gradual loosen- 
ing of the ties to earth, and I am ready to trust, an 
increased sense of the glory and beauty of that in- 
heritance which is incorruptible. And now in view 
of the possibility of having entered on the last year 
of my sojourn in this lower world, earnest is my 
desire, gracious Lord ! that weak and unworthy as I 
am, I may be favoured to receive such abundant sup- 



118 BENJAMIN MIDDLETON FOX. 

plies of grace and strength, as to be enabled to dwell 
continually near to Thee ; to have my affections gra- 
dually weaned from the objects of time, and fixed on 
those of eternity; and to feel that the things that 
concern my Saviour's righteousness, and his glory, 
are my chief joy. But oh ! should it be Thy will 
that my path should lie through the deep waters of 
bodily or mental conflict, condescend to assist me — ■ 
to fulfil, in my experience, the blessed language, 
c My grace is sufficient/ and prepare me for an ad- 
mittance, in Thy own good time, into Thy courts 
above. " 

The Journal resumes, " Middleton very weak to- 
day, but looking towards home, with bright antici- 
pations. He is sensible of the diminution of physical 
power, and but little able to employ himself. He 
remarked, it was not gratifying to be so idle, but that 
he was thankful that he felt no condemnation for it. 
He said he had no idea of resuming his studies, 
which had been discontinued some weeks, after being 
pursued with a diligence beyond his power. 

First-day, 15th. — " Our dear invalid has been in 
a very drooping state, but is better again, and able to 
enjoy the tender and affectionate letters of his beloved 
parents, — and warm were his expressions of love and 
gratitude. . He remarked, what a favour it was to be 
spared all pain; for, tried as he was, by discomforts 
merely, he feared that he should give way, if pain 
were added. He asked, whether I thought it was 
allowable, to pray to be preserved from a sense of 



BENJAMIN MIDDLETON FOX. 119 

weakness and lowness, which, were so much his por- 
tion; and he scarcely knew whether it was an in- 
firmity of the flesh or of the spirit. I told him I 
thought that such weakness of body and spirit was 
closely interwoven, and that it need not savour of 
any want of submission, to pray, if not for strength 
to withstand, at least, for strength to endure. He 
said, that in many ways, he was conscious of being 
very mercifully helped in answer to his prayers. 

He afterwards spoke of the favour which he felt 
it to be that the perplexities which had assailed him 
both with regard to his faith and his practice, were 
now exchanged for a state of confiding dependence, 
— of the refreshment of soul which he had felt in 
his seasons of retirement, which were long and fre- 
quent. Speaking of being here, at Florence, a place 
abounding with so much to gratify his taste for the 
fine arts, he said, " it was wonderful to himself to 
feel that there was no trial or disappointment in being 
unable to visit the different places of interest," add- 
ing, " and indeed of what use could it be to me 
now." This was not from a morbid indifference, for 
his power to admire the beautiful remained un- 
changed ; but the eagerness respecting all these things 
lessened in proportion as his hopes and his affections 
were attracted by the unfading glories which had 
long dawned on his mental vision. 

" On the 8th of Third month, we went to Leg- 
horn to be in readiness for the steamer. It did not 
sail till the 12th, when our dear M. had rallied so 
as to encourage us to go fearlessly forward. He bore 



120 BENJAMIN MIDDLETON FOX. 

the voyage well ; and was much pleased at the pros- 
pect of meeting his father and brother. The inter- 
view with the latter, at Genoa, caused a flush of 
emotion, and he was earnest to look as well as he 
could, that his brother might not be impressed with 
his altered appearance. We reached Marseilles at 
noon, and whilst yet in the harbour, received the 
welcome news, that his father was near us in a boat." 

On this occasion his father writes: — " It was a 
moment of unutterable interest, but we were pre- 
served in calmness. Dearest M. is more altered than 
I was prepared to expect. His sunken cheeks and 
emaciated limbs testify to the progress which disease 
has made. When I look on that beautiful counte- 
nance, my heart is ready to fail within me; still I 
desire to commemorate the loving-kindness of our 
heavenly Father, who has dealt so gently with this 
lamb of his fold, whom he will shortly receive to go 
no more out. I cannot adequately set forth the ful- 
ness and the sweetness of that peace which is the 
blessed portion of our beloved child — the peace of 
God which passeth all human understanding. Not a 
word of complaint escapes his lips ; no anxious 
thoughts disturb the repose of the soul. Whilst the 
body is largely partaking of the frailty of humanity, 
the soul is stayed on God his Saviour." 

The journal continues : — 21st. — u It is instructive 
to mark dear M.'s care not to give needless trouble 
to any of the servants of the hotel. He says 
he cannot bear to see them i driven about/ and is 
never willing to have the bell rung for a trifling 



BENJAMIN MIDDLETON FOX. 121 

matter for his accommodation. He told me this eve- 
ning, that, although he says but little about it, he 
feels inexpressibly his debt for the hourly alleviations 
he experiences, but that this feeling of gratitude is 
not burdensome, because he knows that love makes 
it a true pleasure to render any service in our power. 

" The detention of the vessel in which we were to 
sail for Gibraltar, is trying to the faith and patience 
of us all; but its effect on Middleton seems to be 
that of deepening his confidence in the love of God, 
in which he does truly seem like one cradled, and 
kept from the fear of evil. On the 27th of Third 
month we embarked. The voyage was long, but the 
weather was fine ; so that we were able to be much 
on deck ; but dear M. had many fluctuations. On 
the last evening, there was such extreme exhaustion 
of the nervous system, that he quite believed he was 
dying ; but said, ' I am not afraid or alarmed. I am 
so weak, that I cannot even think a thought. I 
must beg thee to ask for me, at the throne of grace, 
for all that I need/ The judicious measures of a 
physician on board proved helpful ; and he bore the 
landing at Gibraltar very nicely. He was exceed- 
ingly pleased with the beautiful verdure of this place, 
and connecting his feelings of perfect peace, the eve- 
ning before, when he thought this earthly scene was 
closing on him, with his admiration of the beautiful 
flowers and sunshine, I was reminded of the last por- 
tion of Scripture I had read to him, 6 all things are 
yours/ 

Fourth month, 5th. — " Embarked for Southamp- 
11 



122 BENJAMIN MIDDLETON FOX. 

ton. On the 11th he remarked, ( How fast the days 
and nights are passing away ! We are so wonder- 
fully and so graciously helped ; and the alleviations 
by night and by day are so many. He said he should 
have dreaded the voyage, if faith had not been given 
him • and if this were to fail him, he knew not what 
he should do. He lamented that he had not a more 
lively enjoyment of heavenly things; — hoped it was 
only owing to the weakness of the body; and re- 
marked, that when he needed it more, he had been 
much favoured with a sense of access to the mercy- 
seat. He spoke in an interesting strain on the state 
of the soul immediately after death ; and after allud- 
ing to several passages of Scripture which did not 
seem to accord, said, he did not believe there was any 
real discrepancy, and proposed that i sometime, when 
he was a little better, we should read the parts toge- 
ther/ I gladly assented, and said, I thought we 
need not be perplexed, if we could but receive the 
words. — c Absent from the body — present with the 
Lord/ This seemed to embrace all that he could 
desire. 

"As we approached Southampton, on the after- 
noon of the 14th, whilst resting on deck, he looked 
very calm, but said, he felt sadly unnerved, and that 
he did not know before how weak he was. He could 
not wholly restrain his tears, but said, they were not 
from any painful emotion, but the mixture of feeling 
in the prospect of meeting his beloved mother and 
brother. On landing, his heart overflowed with gra- 
titude for his many favours, and he seemed com- 



BENJAMIN MIDDLETON FOX. 123 

passed about with songs of deliverance. On being 
advised to take rest in the morning, he said, c I hope, 
when we get to the Isle of Wight, I shall not only 
get up to breakfast, but have a little time for medita- 
tion before. I find if I do not give my best hours 
to the best things, I get on but poorly; but somehow 
or other, I am so languid now/ " 

On 6th day, the 16th, Middleton looked most un- 
fit for any effort, but did not shrink from undertaking 
the removal to Ventnor; the little voyage and jour- 
ney were borne wonderfully well : he sat up in the 
carriage and distributed tracts by the way. Almost 
throughout his long illness, he had in this manner 
manifested his christian interest for those amongst 
whom his lot was cast ; this was the last occasion on 
which he seemed equal to making any exertion, and 
on reaching the comfortable hotel, in which prepara- 
tions had been made for him, he rejoiced in the rest 
which he thought his settlement here would afford 
him. 

On his father remarking, that he was glad he was 
so pleased with his location ; M. said, " not pleased 
— but exceedingly thankful. I want thee to know, 
dear father, how graciously, how wonderfully we have 
been helped to-day/' 

On the 17th, he appeared much relieved and com- 
forted with an interesting conversation with his father 
and mother. On waking in the morning of the 18th, 
after a night of unusual repose, he said, "What 
shall I render unto the Lord for all his benefits to- 
wards me V 



124 BENJAMIN MIDDLETON FOX. 

In the course of the following night, he said, 
" What a memorable time this is, so very interesting 
for us to be thus brought together, and living under 
such a canopy of praise, as it were ? What a blessed 
thing to be on a firm foundation ! Then we need 
have no cares — they are borne for us; so delightful !" 

During the night of the 24th, Middleton requested 
that the hymn might be read to him containing the 
lines : 

" Sweet to be passive in His hands, 
And know no will but His;" 

remarking afterwards, that he was thankful in the 
belief, that he did in measure realize this privileged 
condition. 

First-day, 25th. — He seemed so weak as to be un- 
able to make any effort, mental or physical ; but 
while the rest of the party were going to join the 
other friends at Ventnor, in meeting together for 
worship, he said, "Now, I think, we may have a 
little meeting." It was touchingly solemn thus to 
sit with this tenderly-loved one, now on the verge of 
another state of existence, whilst his countenance 
bespoke that it was not in vain, that he was seeking 
help from the sanctuary. He acknowledged that it 
had been a favoured time. Whilst settling in for 
the night, he said, " I have had two short precious 
seasons to-day. If there is work for me to do, I hope 
I shall be strengthened to do it, for the love of Him 
who has done such great things for me." He was 
reminded that there is a work of faith, as well as a 
labour of love. " Yes, to be sure there is," he re- 



BENJAMIN MIDDLETON FOX. 125 

plied, " what should I have been without this faith ? 
and if there is a work to be done, I hope I shall be 
enabled to do it to the glory of Him to whom I owe 
so much. This converse with you is very sweet, but 
I have little power to tell of the fulness of love, which 
I feel for my friends. Now farewell." 

During these days of extreme weakness, there 
were seasons of great enjoyment; he would speak of 
his illness as having been a very happy one, and al- 
though he did not make much direct allusion to the 
future, there were unequivocal proofs of the joy with 
which he was anticipating his home in heaven — the 
being "for ever with the Lord." 

On the 26th, an animating remembrance of the 
enjoyment he had had whilst listening to the 22nd 
chapter of Revelation three months before, seemed 
to come over him, and as if realizing the full sense 
of the words, he quoted, " And he showed me a pure 
river of water of life, clear as crystal, proceeding out 
of the throne of God and of the Lamb," and then, 
" And His servants shall serve Him, and they shall 
see His face." 

In the afternoon, he asked for a little Bible-read- 
ing, something appropriate to his state; the part he 
was reading in course (the Epistle to the Corinthians) 
seemed more for those who had to act a part in life, 
than for him now ! he wanted something to remind 
us of our union with Christ, quoting the passage, 
" When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then 
shall we also appear with Him, in glory. " 

In the dusk of the evening, turning to his 
11* 



126 BENJAMIN MIDDLETON FOX. 

mother, he said, "Will dear mother repeat that 
hymn?" meaning the one before referred to, begin- 
ning with — 

"When languor and disease invade 
This trembling house of clay, 
'Tis sweet to look beyond our cage, 
And long to fly away." 

On settling in for the night of fourth day, his last 
on earth, he made sweet allusion to the happy change, 
with touching words of gratitude to those who had 
had the privilege of bearing him company, through 
the many nights of weakness and weariness which 
had been his portion. This night was passed with 
remarkable comfort, but it was evident, in the morn- 
ing, that a great change was fast approaching. 

Fifth day, Fourth month, 29th — He seemed 
pleased to listen to a little reading, in the intervals 
of drowsiness and restlessness, but could not say 
much himself. At three o'clock, difficulty of breath- 
ing came on, and he was evidently dying. About 
seven, his father asked him if he was suffering, he 
answered, — " only tired ;" on which -his father said, 
" My beloved Middleton is tired, he will soon be at 
rest on his Saviour's bosom." He whispered, " that 
will be sweet." Shortly after, when we supposed 
the power of speech had failed, he said, in the faint- 
est whisper, "I have revived a little, and I am glad 
of it, that I may have the opportunity of saying, that 
I am able to repose on my Saviour's love," repeating 
the words, " Saviour's love." His father expressing 
the desire that the conflict might be shortened, he 



BENJAMIN MIDDLETON FOX. 127 

added, "If it be His will." The former then, on 
the bended knee, petitioned that it might be so, and 
that the tender mercy and loving-kindness, which 
had been extended to our beloved one, mieht be still 
granted, in his passage through the valley of the 
shadow of death, enlightened, as it was, by his Sa- 
viour's presence. To this Middleton added a faint 
" Amen." And whilst yet listening for another 
breath, we saw that the spirit had departed, and we 
felt something of the blessedness which was his, in 
thus being " absent from the body and present with 
the Lord." 

He died on the 29th of 4th month, 1852, aged 24 
years. 



THE END 



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